The 10 Songs That Should Be Used at Guantanamo Bay

1 of 10

Ironic, Alanis Morissette: Subject laughed and sang along through much of the songs first two spins, explaining that he was being ironic, since in fact he hated the song. After it played on loop for a half hour, the subject, a yoga enthusiast, assumed what he said was a fish pose and fell asleep. Subject woke back up after seven minutes, sweating and screaming about having been trapped in a car with a spastic Canadian women whose identical braided form kept multiplying.

In this modern era of Geneva Conventions and Democrat-controlled Congresses, it’s never been such a hassle to dole out purposeful torture. Waterboarding? Frowned upon. Weeks of constant interrogation? Discouraged. Stacking naked prisoners in a pyramid? Verboten, ever since a couple Marines got too cute with their digital camera. But it is perfectly legal to inflict mankind’s most nauseating melodies and hackneyed lyrics on those who would commit terrorist acts against America. Check out Thomas Francis & Mike Seely's top ten most torturous tracks. Read the story, A Terrorist's Worst Enemies, and listen to a medley of the entire list.

Browse Voice Nation
  • Voice Places

    Voice Places

    Discover restaurants, nightlife, travel, shopping...

  • VOICE Daily Deals

    VOICE Daily Deals

    Get 50 to 90% off every day on restaurants, movies, massages...

  • Best Of

    Best Of...

    More than 10,000 of the BEST things to eat, drink, and experience

  • My Voice Nation

    My Voice Nation

    Join the Village Voice community and get exclusive deals and info

  • Happy Hour

    Happy Hour

    Your local Happy Hour guide at your fingertips

or

Log in or Sign up

Social Connect:

Use your favorite account to access My Voice Nation.


Use your My Voice Nation account to log in:





Forgot password?
or

Sign Up or Log in

Social Connect:

Sign up for My Voice Nation with your preferred network.


Sign up for a My Voice Nation account:



Privacy policy