Dear John: People Are So Mean to the Crocs. What Should I Do?

Nouela plays SW's Reverb Local Music Festival on Saturday, Oct. 6, with 50 other local bands.
John Roderick is the singer and songwriter responsible for The Long Winters, a motivational speaker, elder statesman, and role model. He tweets @johnroderick.

I have to stand for 12 hours at a time for a job. The only shoes that don't hurt my feet are crocs. But people are so mean to the crocs. What should I do? -- Nouela

Roderick: I'd get a pair of wooden shoes from the Netherlands in an extra-large size and then wear my crocs inside the wooden shoes. People are mean to crocs because they look like shoes you'd wear to clean out an execution chamber, but wooden shoes are universally acknowledged as the COOLEST and most FAR OUT shoes in history.

People will be tripping so hard that you are wearing wooden shoes they won't even notice that your gross crocs are tucked inside. Plus, it will make you look like you have huge feet, which is something everyone desires.

More Roderick:

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-- Aerosmith's Tom Hamilton to John Roderick: "Should I Learn How to Read Music?"

-- Helping Rosanne Cash With Porta-Potties, Bare-Chested Babes, and Her Tour of the Oyster States

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