Every third Monday at the Can Can in Pike Place, the great Vanessa "Baby Van Beezly" Resler puts on an event known as Start Frontin', a hip-hop themed karaoke show. Although I've often thought "A Nightmare On My Street" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince would be a great random one to spring on an audience, this genre is as out of my league as it gets. I love the music but feel like a dope whenever I try singing it, mainly because I've got zero flow, and my lack of reading skills makes it next to impossible to keep up with the rapid pace of rap verses.
Nevertheless, I was fiending to catch my first Beezly show in ten months. She is by far the most captivating KJ I've encountered. Monday was a school night, and I live far enough away from the market that driving was a definite concern, but I wasn't about to let those factors cheat me out of fully enjoying this party. I hopped the #15 bus downtown and resolved to call in sick the next morning. It's not necessary to drink to have fun at one of Vanessa's shows, but it just makes it that much better, the same way five bong rips makes watching Dumb and Dumber that much better or how taking shrooms makes an Allman Brothers concert that much better.
I walked into the cavernous venue around 9:15 p.m. and sat with my buddy Lisa who was bellied up at the bar. No one turned in any requests that first hour, so Beezly had to play DJ for a while, but she and her husband Will slipped in a couple numbers here and there. Will has skills. The first cut we saw him do was OutKast's "So Fresh, So Clean," and he totally worked it. This ain't that tired ass "Ice Ice Baby" shit you always see done lamely. He had to stay in pocket while trading off two separate and very complex singing and rapping parts. It was very impressive. Then Beezly joined him on stage, and together they nailed "Forgot About Dre" by Dr. Dre and Eminem.
Those performances--while totally awesome--caused me serious anxiety, because I didn't want to back down from the theme, but I felt there was no way I was going to be able to come through with anything that smooth. After kicking my night off with gin, Lisa suggested we do a shot of Southern Comfort cut with muddled lime. Then we got into a bunch of Chamucos. Around 11 p.m., Beezly slipped in a '90s pop cut, "Finally" by CeCe Peniston, to get the crowd dancing. The off-themed number enabled me to warm up with "Honky Tonk Women" by the Stones. Lisa advised me that I hadn't loosened up enough, so she slipped me a tab of Nicorette gum and told me it would get me fucked up quicker. She was right. After five chews. a spike of energy shot straight to my temples, and I was ready for action.
After Blondie's "One Way Or Another" and Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" paid off nicely for Lisa we both got up and did Snoop Dogg's "Gin and Juice." I carried the performance, and it ended up pretty decent. I was very relieved. The audience eventually got in some old school numbers, but it was still mainly the full-on Baby Van Beezly experience. She debuted "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen, and everybody loved it. The night ended at 1 a.m. with a passionate rendition of "End of the Road" by Boyz II Men by a dude named Ryan.
CAN CAN, 94 Pike St. # B, 652-0832, DOWNTOWN