Roderick & Iwakuma, Vol. II: On Ichiro, Figure Skating, and Catching the Groundhog"/>
John Roderick is the singer and songwriter responsible for Seattle's the Long Winters. Send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org .
For this month's Answers & Advice column, we invited the Mariners' new relief pitcher, Hisashi Iwakuma--who's making his major-league debut with Seattle after a cJohn Roderickareer in Japan--to send Roderick a few queries about his American hometown. The full column runs in the April issue of Reverb Monthly, which you can find inside Wednesday's issue of Seattle Weekly. You can read the first excerpt from the column here.
John Roderick is the singer and songwriter responsible for Seattle's the Long Winters. Send your questions to email@example.com.
Iwakuma: What is your favorite moment in Mariners history?
Roderick: Have you noticed that Ichiro is like a character out of Kafka? Every time he goes to bat he puts down his invisible briefcase, takes off his invisible black suit jacket, singles to center, steals second base, and then the Mariners lose! He's caught in an endless Groundhog Day where it doesn't matter whether he learns the piano or kidnaps the groundhog and drives into a gravel pit, the Mariners lose! Seattleites love resignation in the face of futility, it's one of our defining characteristics.
If you were a professional baseball player, what position would you play?
Baseball is considered by many people to be the most intellectual sport, but isn't it sad that most other "intellectual" things are considered snobby? Like, artistic dancing is also very athletic, both modern and classical, and the dancers I've known haven't been any smarter than baseball players, but going to a dance recital seems like a very elitist thing to do.
Why is that? Is it because no one wins at dancing? Look at figure skating, it's like dancing except one person wins and the losers go home in tears. You'd think that figure skating would be a big hit, but nobody cares about it except for Russians and some really brassy moms.
What is your favorite place to watch a Mariners game with friends (besides the ballpark)?
Seriously though, you're moving to Seattle and you've got some money to burn, I think you're going to have a blast. I'm sure the Mariners want you to have a good time and enjoy a little bit of the high life, but that usually means they squire you around in a white Escalade to some gaudy steakhouse bar called "The Cosmopolitan" or something, where everyone is weirdly tall and some bald Ukrainian guy with a $25,000 wristwatch keeps slapping you hard on the back while his teenaged girlfriend looks at you like a halibut.
Does that sound fun? You need to get away from those mutants!