The 10 Least Rock and Roll Venues on the KISS + Motley Crue Tour Itinerary (Other Than the 1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheatre, of Course)

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Jim Bennett
The KISS/Motley Crue co-headlining tour includes a stop at Auburn's White River Amphitheatre on August 18. Tickets go on sale Saturday via LiveNation.com.
Setting aside the fact that KISS is the most merchandised band in history, and we love them to death for their shameless commercialization ... I think it would actually sound more Rock and Roll for KISS and Motley Crue to route their summer mega-tour through the nation's Hot Topics than rooms with cuddly names like the Comfort Dental Amphitheatre or the 1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheatre.

The Motely Crue/KISS co-headlining tour itinerary -- which includes a stop at the modestly named White River Amphitheatre -- makes the Tacoma Dome sound so boss by comparison.

Here's a look at the "best" among them:

In chronological order:

Jiffy Lube Live, Bristow, VA (July 20). I would like to be a fly on the wall of Tommy Lee's bus when he finds out he's playing a place called Jiffy Lube Live.

Farm Bureau Live at Virginia Beach, Virginia Beach, VA (July 21). Nothing says rock like the Farm Bureau.

Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre(s): Charlotte, NC (July 25), Irvine, CA (Aug. 16), Maryland Heights, MO (Aug. 27). Yes, there are three Verizon Amphitheatres in three different states on the Motley/KISS tour.

1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheatre, Tampa (July 28): I really don't know where to start here.

Hard Rock Casino Presents The Pavilion, Albuquerque, NM (Aug. 7): Hey, guys! Wanna pile into my Chevy and head down to the Hard Rock Casino Presents The Pavilion!?!?!

Comfort Dental Amphitheatre, Englewood, CO (Aug. 8): I understand that the target audience for amphitheater tours like this are getting old, but, damn. What's next, the Depends Arena?

Ashley Furniture HomeStore Pavilion, Phoenix (Aug. 10): So many memories.

Sleep Train Pavilion at Concord, Concord, CA (Aug 16): I know a lot of folks are going to want to jump right into the sack after the show, but sleeping will be the last thing on their minds.

Sleep Country Amphitheater, Ridgefield, WA (Aug 19): Why see a rock show anywhere else?

First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre, Tinley Park, IL (Sept. 7): The thing is, this is even a bad name for a bank.

Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, OH, (Sept. 12): Though I guess this leaves open the opportunity for plenty of jokes about who's going to deflower Blossom first.

 
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