John Roderick is the singer and songwriter responsible for Seattle's the Long Winters. Send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org .
Q: You are required to use one of the following tools/instruments in your band--AutoTune, harp, or theremin. What would you choose and why? Cheers,
John Roderick is the singer and songwriter responsible for Seattle's the Long Winters. Send your questions to email@example.com.
Roderick: In small doses I have used ALL THREE, because it is required by the Indie Rock Code of Conduct that I utilize each and every annoying instrument in the world at least once or have my commitment to Sparkle Motion questioned. But you're asking which of the three I would FEATURE in my band if I were forced by a totalitarian cabal of Indie Fascists to conform to "twee standards" by hiring five extra twits in gingham shirts to stand there making whale sounds and looking bored. Indie bands are locked in an arms race to see which can have the greatest number of moon-faced hurdy-gurdy players onstage at once, a contest in which everyone loses. I suppose I would pick the harp, because at least they are excellent at signaling the start of a dream sequence.
Q: How does a man no longer in his youth dress well without looking like a douche? --Annonymous
You're making the somewhat flawed assumption that it's possible for the average adult male to age gracefully no matter how he dresses. Have you seen Harrison Ford lately, with his shitty little earring and his dad jeans? If he can't manage the transition gracefully, what makes you think there's any hope for you?
The fact is you're tired and misshapen now, and the only remotely classy option is to buy your clothes from fly-fishing catalogs and golf pro shops. If you can't handle the thought of dressing like an old man and hope to remain urban and cool, you need to resign yourself to looking like a creepy oaf.
Dear John Roderick, How do you change the drive belt on a '67 Chevy Caprice? Yours truly, --Kimber Smith
My freshman year of high school I signed up for French II instead of Auto Shop. with the smug certainty that since I was on a "college prep" path, if my car ever broke down I could just throw $100 bills at grease monkeys until one of them fixed it. Unfortunately for me, I flunked French. I then proceeded to not graduate from college, not become a high-powered lawyer, and, in the final irony, develop a total fascination with classic cars. Here's what I can piece together from your question:
The drive belt is something that is apparently not the drive shaft nor the timing belt, unless it is just a different name for one of those that only Chevy people use. I'm inclined to think that you're making it up, like asking me how the spanner fits into the Ansinger gear spoik. Then again, it might connect the cam lifters to the leaf springs. I'm guessing that it is somewhere up with the other belts there, by the radiator, and my money is on it being the bottom one. You will almost certainly need a wrench, maybe two, and you will need to loosen and/or remove parts until you are holding the old drive belt in your hand. Trade it for a new drive belt and reverse the process. Voilà!