The Top 10 Lines From the Eleventh Chapter of Steven Tyler's Memoir, Does the Noise In My Head Bother You?

Steven Tyler's autobiography, Does the Noise In My Head Bother You? was released on Tuesday via Ecco.
And I quote:

I remember the first time I saw (Pamela Anderson) at the MTV Europe Music Awards at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin. She was going out with that guy in Poison, Bret Michaels. She was so hot so I lied and said, "What the fuck are you doin' with that jerk, you know I was going to be here." So pretentious, so rock star, but then again I'd drink a gallon of her piss just to see where it comes from.

Why the need for caution? Because there's wife and girlfriends on tour; you fuck someone, and even if your wife isn't on this leg of the trip, you know only too well, one of those bitches will be the first to get on her cell phone to your wife ...

We stopped saying at the Days Inn in 1977 because we'd wake up in the morning with our backs twisted, thinking about feather beds. Plus, there were fucking fans next door manning on the walls, bam-bam-bam-bam-bam! "You're the fucking BALLS! You're the FUCKIN' BALLS!!!" At the Four Seasons you had security, and who gives shit if it's a million dollars off the top.

The best exercise for anybody is keeping your hand away from your mouth -- food is kind of a drug addiction itself.

Signing autographs for twelve people, you're talking six minutes, twenty people, ten minutes. But security has to know what I know. What if someone has a gun there? John Lennon got blown away by a psychotic fan. What if? And I walk into those situations all the time. I've got five bulletproof vests at home.

I haven't warmed up yet, and my cell phone rings, it's Al Gore! So there's all this stuff going on while I'm taking a leak. I tell the makeup girl, "You can look if you want." When you're not married, there's all sorts of things you can do, stuff I could never do when my wife was around. I can't tell you what joy that is.

Guitar players can put their amps on 10 and have a roadie change their strings. Onstage, no one's going to hear if Joe's guitar is out of tine -- it's been out for years, it was out for most of the seventies.

You're in a band, you make it, you're let in the door; then you have to be realer than the realest real for people to relate to when fans are standing on their feet for three hours to come see you.

Joe's guitar tech takes his sorry-ass worn-out guitar and strings, changes them, sets the guitar up for the next date. I don't have anyone to change my strings.

And that's my life.
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