This is Bob Schneider's dick. Or, rather, this is the dick Bob Schneider drew immediately following his appearance Thursday morning on Marty Riemer's world-famous podcast, which I selfishly co-hosted. Turns out, like Jonah Hill's character in Superbad, Schneider, an accomplished amateur artist, draws dicks all the time. He says they have a way of livening up even the most boring sketches. I tend to agree.
Never one to bite his tongue, Schneider has lately campaigned viciously against the intelligence quotient of Charlottesville, Virginia. Apparently, they took an onstage joke of his about making love to mentally retarded individuals a tad too seriously. As melancholy and introspective as he can be crass, Schneider says he works as often as possible because he "hates life." Whether such hatred is so genuinely felt--he clearly considers his 5-year-old son a very good reason to forge ahead--cannot obscure the man's devotion to his career.
All the tracks from Schneider's next album, A Perfect Day, were the product of an unusual songwriting exercise he's been undertaking weekly with a couple dozen of his peers, in which one of them picks a phrase--"love is the blacksmith's beet salad," for example (but not really)--that all must incorporate into a full-blown song, if only in passing. A Perfect Day will be out April 19, and the indefatigable Schneider will no doubt be back out this way soon as well.