Question for Duff: When Are You Going to Tell Your Daughters About, Um ... Everything?

In addition to his Thursday column, Duff McKagan is now answering reader questions throughout the week. Write to him at Find all of Duff's posts here.
Q: Can I pass that Q to you regarding the fact that your daughters are now on the verge of saying farewell to their childhood and at the gateways of starting to party? I know it's a tough question and I mean no disrespect, but I'm a father, too, and I get a chill down my spine whenever I put myself in the shoes of our RNR heroes having to deal with something like that. -- David

Duff: Well David, My kids ARE definitely now at the age where my past exploits in the 'darkness' are and will be talked about more and more in my house. But the thing that I have found that is very important for all topics with my kids, is the fact that we do actually talk about them (or at least, I try to approach them with certain ones).

Certain things will have come up already. When Grace was in the 3rd grade, she asked me why I didn't drink wine when everyone else did at dinner or 'grown-up' parties. I didn't think at that point that she was old enough to notice these types of things-and I took this as a wake-up call that my young kids are very astute. I think most young kids are.

Grace's query gave me an awesome and early opportunity to tell her about my past problems with alcohol and drugs. I told her these things in a way that did not scare her, but simply made her realize that these things were a bad thing for a guy like me. We have more recently hit on the topic that my alcoholism and addiction problems could very well be a family trait and that it is something that she and I should watch out for when she gets older. She knows very well about my past, and more than likely looks at those old photos of me as an embarrassment. I hope she does, anyway.

To add to all of this, and a dilemma that I am now facing, is the book that I am just now finishing. It is a story of redemption in the end, but it does tell my whole story-thorns, pimples, blood, puke, and all. I have told my kids of my past and they have seen the pictures and read the stories. That is all that I can do for now. Well no, there IS one other big thing I can do; and that is to be a loving and trustful Dad.

Hell, I can't hide too much can I? As I write this missive, I am recuperating from a surgery to fix my scarred sinuses from 17 year-old cocaine abuse! My MRI pictures of the battle in my cranium is enough to scare ANY kid straight!

comments powered by Disqus

Friends to Follow