Pomplamoose's Christmas Hyundai Commercials Cause Hatred of Pomplamoose, Hyundai and Christmas

Someone please get this woman a case of laryngitis for Christmas.
As car companies go, I've always liked Hyundai. They produce modest, reliable and affordable cars with little fanfare. I don't really have a problem with Christmas either; despite its over-commercialization, it tends to bring people together and send them into the new year with a renewed sense of optimism. Nor do I have a problem with independent music acts cashing in on corporate America's desire to "cool up" their image. And until recently, I didn't have an opinion of Pomplamoose, a Bay Area indie-pop duo best-known for its snarky cover of Beyonce's "Single Ladies" and selling its music exclusively online.

But now that Pomplamoose has produced a series of Christmas commercials for Hyundai, my opinions of all these entities have been forever altered.

If you haven't seen the ads, you don't watch television. They're that ubiquitous. They feature Pomplamoose covers of three carols: "Up on the Housetop," "Jingle Bells," and "Deck the Halls." The commercials are effectively videos of these covers, and they have served to cement lead singer Nataly (note the ultra-precious spelling of "Natalie," as well as the ultra-precious bandname) Dawn's status as the most annoying woman on earth.

In the videos, Dawn smirks as she's shown in a variety of cozy sweaters and scarves, singing the carols in generic-Grey's Anatomy-chick-voice, a vocal style that probably needs no further explanation than that. After you hear it five times (this will happen within the first half-hour of watching pretty much any program on television), you're ambivalent. Ten times, you're annoyed. Fifteen times, Dawn's voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Twenty times and it's like fire ants gnawing at your crotch. Twenty-five times and you'll want to go all Elvis and shoot the TV. Thirty times and you'll want to drive your car into the nearest Hyundai. Thirty-five times and you'll want to drive an out-of-control Army tank over every new vehicle in a Hyundai lot. Forty times and you'll want Dawn to contract a case of terminal laryngitis. Forty-five times and you'll want to amputate every last one of Santa's reindeer. Fifty times and you'll wish Jesus announced it was time to stop celebrating his birthday.

But, really, don't take my word for it. Just watch this clip 5-50 times and judge for yourself:

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