Guys, what is all this I'm hearing about Eminem's new record? Despite the fact that it features lyrics like "I stuck my dick in this game like a rapist," that it earned a 2.8 rating on Pitchfork, that he hired Pauly Shore to do a comedic review of it, the rapper's newest thoughtful musical insight into his foul life, Recovery, not only debuted at number one on the Billboard charts this week, but it sold over 741,000, making it the highest-selling first week for a CD in two years.
#1! Fuck you!
What? Am I out of the loop here, or are the only tricks this guy's still got up his sleeve dissing Mariah Carey and saying anything he can about homosexuality to get some press? Boring.
But fine, whatever, you all bought it. And here's the rest of the Billboard Top 5 for the week:
1. Eminem, Recovery
3. Miley Cyrus, Can't Be Tamed (why is this bitch so scowly if her album's selling and her parents let her dress up like a prostitute for the record cover?)
4. Ozzy Osbourne, Scream
5. Various Artists, NOW 34 (I didn't know they still made these, but they do, and this one features Ke$ha, Usher, and the Biebs)
Again, whatever. But it's not like you didn't have any better options. Here are the 4 newly released records you should have bought this week instead of Emmy and Miley:
1. The Roots, How I Got Over: If you were looking for quality hip hop, this is where you should have gone. In typical Roots fashion, How I Got Over is sharp, incisive, and sincere, with irresistible hooks and plenty of soul to go along with them. It's also genre-bending, featuring guest spots from The Dirty Projectors and Joanna Newsom. They even make Monsters of Folk sound hip -- click here to download "Dear God 2.0" -- that's Jim James singing along.
2. Maps & Atlases, Perch Patchwork: Barsuk released this Chicago quartet's debut full-length on Tuesday, and it's a beautiful collection of highly innovative songs. Maps & Atlases are leagues apart from the standard indie rock band -- their version of pop is equal parts stunningly intricate instrumental parts and loose, looping melodies carried by Dave Davison's unique, warbling vocals. Click here to download the album's fluid first single, "Solid Ground."
3. Wolf Parade, Expo 86: In other local label releases, Sub Pop put out Wolf Parade's Expo 86 this week. The album marks Wolf Parade's third solid release in a row; at its best moments, like "What Did My Lover Say?" and the heart-rending "Yulia," Expo 86 features all the familiar Wolf Parade trademarks -- foot-stomping tempos with squealing guitars, dramatic synths, bluesy vocals, and whipping percussion. Click here to download "Ghost Pressure," probably the catchiest track on the album.
4. Scissor Sisters, Night Work: For their third full-length, Jake Shears and co. went a lot more glam rock than they have yet; the result is darker, much more emotive music than we've heard from the dance-crazy crew in the past. But this is still a Scissor Sisters record, so there's still plenty of euphoric, infectious dancefloor moments to be had. Click here to watch the video for the album's impassioned first single, "Fire With Fire."