Ragin' Asian: Kurrent Is a "Superficial Spectacle"

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Our Jonathan Kauffman dubbed Kurrent (600 E. Pine St.) a "superficial spectacle" when he reviewed it two years ago. I've frequented the establishment at least once a month in the time since--what that says about my taste I don't know.

It's easy to understand why Kurrent has got its haters. First off, it spells the word "current" with a "K." Secondly, said "K" is positioned backwards. Thirdly, it draws Z-list celebrities like Project Runway's Blayne Walsh in as regulars. (You know, the guy who tried to make "Girlicious" a catch phrase and failed miserably... or maybe you don't know.)

Kurrent is a tiny space with plastic walls and black leather seating. The bar tables are chrome and come with white leather chairs that are so uncomfortable that patrons would likely fare better atop the ice bar. The venue reeks of arrogance and Acqua di Gio cologne.

But none of those things deterred Seattleites from venturing into the bar on Saturday night for overpriced cocktails and seizure-inducing dance music. Plenty of 'mos and their flame dames (my newly discovered term for attractive fag hags) flock around the 50-foot-long ice bar to converse and flirt with handsome bartenders, who have no problem flirting back with the men and women. They've got to be making some serious bank.

The only thing about Kurrent that I myself hate is the balding man in his mid-40s who is a constant presence on the dancefloor. No one is safe from his approaching to gyrate against you in his velvet jacket. The fact that I know this may make it seem like I too, am out at Kurrent accosting innocent patrons on a regular basis. But trust me, it's different. Check it out for yourself if you don't believe me.

 
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