Ragin' Asian: If You're Horny, Let's Do It. Ride It, My Pony.

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Erika Hobart's Rajin' Asian column runs every Monday on Reverb.
The employees at In-and-Out Burger cut drive-thru customer wait time in half by going from car to car and taking orders, rather than relying on the intercom. The Pony operates in a strikingly similar manner. Efficient bouncers check the IDs of everybody waiting in the long line before they're even close to the entrance.

The new Capitol Hill bar was packed with gays and hipsters on Saturday night. But it's the former that rule the space, as indicated by a large sign by the bar that declares, "Man's Country." A sweaty girl grinding against the stripper pole atop the bar for two hours straight got nothing more than sideways glances from patrons who could give a shit less about somebody not swinging a cock.

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The original Pony located at Pine Street was torn down to make way for more parking two years ago. Since reopening on Madison and 12th in what was previously a flower shop at the beginning of this month, the gay community has been buzzing with excitement and curiosity at the notion that they have another option to add to their nightlife palette.

But on weekends, the Pony draws as many hipsters as it does gays, thanks to its dive bar ambiance. "The crowd was grittier and older on Wednesday," one guy complained to his friends. "It wasn't this trendy."

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Trendy is a stretch in describing anything related to the Pony. Kitschy, yes. Black-and-white photographs of naked men and sex ads cover the walls. (My personal favorite features a Tom Selleck look-alike and reads: Dial Dick for 12 inches of conversation.) The hallway leading up to the bathrooms is plastered with erotic literature passages. And the stalls are labeled "Boys" and "Men." Interestingly, some patrons would simply sniff when the boys room opened and let others go ahead, opting to wait until the men's room was unoccupied. (Are boys and men akin to tops and bottoms? Can only the versatile enter both bathrooms? Somebody please enlighten me! I'm so curious.)

The Pony may draw plenty of straight dudes in skinny jeans on a Saturday evening, but the bar still radiates homosexual horniness. It's not just the giant cocks and erotic lit on the walls. It's the guy in his early 20s who giggled after conversing with two Australian tourists and excitedly informed his friends, "I'm definitely going Down Under tonight!"

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