The Dwarves, "Fuck Them All"

Michael Alan Goldberg's write-up on the Dwarves is probably the funniest thing I've put into Short List since I started


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Tonight's Show Suggestions


The Dwarves, "Fuck Them All"

Michael Alan Goldberg's write-up on the Dwarves is probably the funniest thing I've put into Short List since I started working here. 

The Dwarves, ZEKE, the Hollowpoints, the Insurgence, Marginal Way at El Corazon, 8 p.m., $15

Dear God: Blag Dahlia here from scum-punkers the Dwarves. We've been around 20-some years and I'm getting a little older now, so there's a few things I think I need to get square with you. I'm sorry for putting blood-splattered naked women and a midget holding a dead rabbit on the cover of our Blood Guts & Pussy album. I'm sorry for faking the death of our guitar player and having Sub Pop hold an actual memorial service, only to kick us off the label when they found out the truth. I'm sorry for writing these lyrics: "Eyeballs for breakfast/Jack off for lunch/I'd like you better if you had a fuckin' cunt/Let's fuck, let's fuck/I'm made of rubber/You're made of glue/I wanna stick my fucking cock inside of you" in a song about underage sex. I'm sorry for crucifying a midget, and surrounding him with three weeping naked chicks, on the cover of The Dwarves Must Die. I'm sorry for putting on scary and completely degenerate concerts. I'm sorry for being as offensive as G.G. Allin. Actually, who am I kidding? I'm not sorry at all! I know I'm going to hell, so fuck you! Love, Blag   MICHAEL ALAN GOLDBERG

Glasvegas, Carl Barat at Chop Suey, 8 p.m., $16

The first time I heard Glasvegas - the Scottish foursome whose name, if

you hadn't already surmised, is a cross between Glasgow and Las Vegas -

they reminded me of another widely lauded (yet all-but-forgotten) U.K.

band, the Doves. Like that group, Glasvegas crafts rock of the stately,

brooding, epic, cinematic variety, with a taste for gray-sky melodies

and an ear for Phil Spector-style wall of sound production. Singer

James Allan comes from the Bono school of over-emotive crooning, but

it's not really a deal breaker. The band actually gets compared more to

the Jesus and Mary Chain than U2 - probably because early champion Alan

McGee (the Creation Records founder and one-time Jesus and Mary Chain

manager) compared them to J&MC and everyone else ran with it - but

I don't really hear it. They're far more refined. Glasvegas's

self-titled debut album, which came out just a few months ago, is all

the rage in England. And deservedly so. Who knows about the band's

staying power, though - I'd catch them now, before they fly away never

to be heard from again. Like the Doves. MICHAEL ALAN GOLDBERG

 
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