Rockin' out with Pat Benatar's Illegitimate Daughter


Well, not really. But the similarity between my college partner in crime Kelsey and Pat Benatar is striking. And fittingly, Kelsey loves Pat. On Friday we discretely filled a gallon of orange juice with booze and shared the mimosa-esque poison on a bus from downtown to Emerald Queen Casino. During the hour we progressed from speaking in low voices and darting paranoid glances around the bus to loudly announcing how awesome our plan to make Metro a party bus was.

People who saw Kelsey and I would automatically assume we were seeing Pat. And mind you, we're in our early 20s, so we aren't really her main demographic. Seeing a concert with a friend who looks like the headliner is totally weird. The reactions you get from other people in the audience are priceless.

As for the real Pat Benatar, she looked and sounded awesome. The lady is TINY but has got a big voice. And it was pretty cute to see her note the way she's still infiltrating pop culture. "This is for all the Guitar Heroes out there," she noted proudly before launching into "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" which is featured on the addictive video game. She also performed an awesome rendition of my personal favorite, "Love is a Battlefield." I mean, it wasn't the BEST concert I've ever been to. But it was definitely fun. My favorite '80s performance has still got to be Billy Idol at the Paramount.

Psuedo Pat Benatar became quite drunk on both drinks and the illusion of her (not) connection with the real Pat. "Can I please meet her? I'm like, her twin," she lamented to the security guard. "I wish I could do that for you," he answered. "But Pat Benatar's gone, honey."

And so, the illegitimate daughter was left in a cigarette-ridden casino to fend for herself.

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