If you are attending tonight's sold out Dethklok show I've taken the liberty of downloading a DETHKLOK CONCERT "PAIN WAIVER" for you.
As revised by Charles Foster Ofdensen
I, _________________________, do hereby waive all "life rights" including but not exclusive to the rights to breathe, see, move, et cetera upon the signing of this document.
Furthermore, I waive all rights of Legal Defense or Prosecution should I be burned, lacerated, eaten alive, poisoned, de-boned, crushed, or hammer-smashed.
I understand that there is in no way any financial compensation should I be completely killed, though I will be thanked for dying should this be a filmed event going straight to the DVD marketplace, but NOT if this is a filmed IMAX event (as credit space is limited).
Finally, I understand that should anything happen to me during this concert that causes mental or physical alarm to any of the members of DETHKLOK I will be held accountable legally and financially whether or not I am living or dead.
Finally, thank you for coming to see DETHKLOK live. We understand you have many METAL concert choices out there and they will all be crushed by DETHKLOK.
Social Security #
Bank Account, Credit card and PIN Number
I've dressed for a number of shows when there was a possibility of boning,
but I'm left to ponder the question: What does one wear to an event when there is a possibility of de-boning?