The Plot: In one of the most effective advertisements for concealed-weapons permits ever filmed, David Hasselhoff's 2006 video "Jump in My Car," three women stroll late at night through a poorly lit alleyway. Out of fucking nowhere Hasselhoff materializes in the car from "Knight Rider." It's like the alley scene from the opening of "Terminator," only the washed-up actor isn't arriving from the future but from the past, and his sole mission isn't killing John Conner but taking one of these sweet, innocent honeys for an unwanted ride.
Hoff brushes off six verbal rejections to "jump in [his] car" before dropping the pretences and physically bullying one of the women into his vehicle. Her friends, who'll never see her again, cower in an alcove. Hasselhoff drives for a terrifying, song-filled minute before rocketing his doomed passenger into the stratosphere via a presumably homemade ejection seat. The curtain drops as he laughs maniacally.
The Moment of Brilliance: The director attempts to portray the twisted landscape of Hasselhoff's mind in a number of disturbing sequences. These include a vertiginous kaleidoscope of Hasselhoff faces, a portrait of the actor with horns on his head against a background of belching fire, and advertisements for an imaginary product line involving "Hoffey [toffee] Apples" and an unappetizing "Hot Cup of Hoffee."
The YouTube Review (by kurona84): "This man pisses excellence."
Why you didn't see it on VH1:It's evidence. The Hoff has done a lot of things he's not proud of, and we're not just talking about staging a stag flick with a hamburger. This video includes actual footage of violence against women committed by Hasselhoff in Australia, where it was filmed, and until recently was kept under seal. Apparently, some enterprising prosecutor leaked it to the public in an attempt to link Hasselhoff with the Ted Mulry Gang, an Australian pub-rock group who recorded the original "Jump in My Car" in 1975. That video, starring a bunch of dudes whose appearance in a dark alley is likewise every woman's nightmare, depicted the purposeful drowning of female fans.