Music writers get a lot of publicist and label spam, often from sources they have never communicated with. Case in point: today's XXXMas wish list from some dudes in a band called Hinder, via a Beverly Hills PR firm.
Now, I've never heard of Hinder, but another artist on the wish list roster is the one-and-only Dionne Warwick (pictured-and I'd like to pre-apologize for any nightmares this may cause), who only wants to be with her family for Christmas. Not Hinder. Here's an abbreviated version of what they want:
Austin Winkler, vocalist: '59 Chevy Impala, my own studio, and...however you spell...Keira Knightley. Cody Hanson, drummer: I want at least quadruple platinum album and two chicks at the same time.
Mike Rodden, bass: 1- a threesome with Jessica Alba and Ashley Simpson. 2- an English bulldog. 3- a BMW M3.
Mark King, guitar: I want a Gibson Double Cut Pro Guitar, Jennifer Anniston, Jessica Simpson, Clerks II on DVD, Angelina Jolie, and to watch Rocky Balboa.
Joe "Blower" Garvey, guitar: Threesome, Flying V guitar, hair spray, more tattoos, orgy.
I see a pattern. After some research, I've discovered that the Oklahoma City-based band's frontman is not visually unlike Jared Leto, Davey Havok, and the guy from Placebo, so he shouldn't have a problem getting laid. I'm just disappointed in these guys' unimaginative choices. Seriously, if you're making a fantasy list, get creative. Myself? Josh Homme and Mos Def. Or maybe Richie Hawtin and Jake Shears (I know he's gay, that's why it's a fantasy). Matthew McConaughey and American Gigolo-era Richard Gere. The possibilities are endless.
What's on your XXXMas list? Music and movie stars only, please!