If you can't flush, flame is one way to get rid of your dookie apparently.
Unfortunately for one Seattle man, the shit hit the fan when he tried this method of poop-removal in the alleyway behind Seattle Police Department's East Precinct on Capitol Hill.
This Sunday, an officer walked into the precinct around 11 p.m. to let everyone know there was a fire out back. After peeking their heads around the alley, officers found a man standing by a flaming paper bag, which lo and behold, was filled with poop.
The man admitted to the fire, and told police he had “taken a [poop] and was trying to burn the [poop] away.”
He was then arrested for reckless burning.
Moral of the story: don't burn your poop behind a police department, or anywhere really.