Stupid Accent Survey Says Washington’s Is Third Most-Attractive in North America

These people and their surveys. It seems like our inbox is constantly full of some email touting some new survey that, in all truthfulness, is nothing more than a ploy to hype whatever company is behind it.

And today the dating site Cupid.com gets into the action, trumpeting a survey that supposedly shows that “The Western accent,’ as spoken by the good people of The Evergreen State,” was voted the third most-attractive accent in North America. According to Cupid.com, the survey polled over 2,000 men and women, and is, like, super accurate and stuff.

How do we know the results have issues? First of all, the New York accent came in second place. That raises a lot of red flags, obviously.

Here’s what Cupid.com offers about what makes “The Western” accent so damn sexy:

With notable exceptions like the laid-back sounds of California’s surfer dudes, the West is home to North America’s least distinctive and most generic accents. The West Coast is a metropolis of cultures which perhaps explains why it is the most neutral of all accents. It seems to be serving Westerners well, as they bagged third place in Cupd’com’s survey. So the Western states are a potential hotbed of love and romance – it seems the neutral, so called ‘Newscaster’ accent is a big turn on!

Nothing captures sex appeal like “generic” and “neutral.” We’re getting hot just typing the words.

Here’s how Cupid.com defends the New York accent taking second place:

New Yorkers short, sharp talk may sometimes come across as harsh, but that didn’t stop it from landing second place as most attractive accent in North America You may have thought that their directness would scare prospective lovers off, but it seems that’s far from the case. In fact New York’s fast and straight talking is actually very popular – especially among those women surveyed. Bachelors of New York – make yourselves known!

Here are the complete results:

1st: Southern

2nd: New York

3rd: Western

4th New England

5th New Jersey

6th Canadian

7th Midwestern

8th Mid-Atlantic

Don’t even get us started on New Jersey and Canadian accents supposedly being more sexy than Midwestern accents. That’s pure craziness, eh?

 
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