To Pull a Maxim

I've heard this phrase used three times to day.

To pull a Maxim is to speak or write negatively about something you know little to nothing about.

You may have heard about Maxim magazines 2 1/2 star review of the new Black Crowes album Warpaint. if not, here is the dirt.

Go ahead, add it your personal dictionary. Use it freely.

And until you get the new disc, go here for some wisdom on the Black Crowes from Kornelis and here for an audio slide show from the Voodoo Music Experience.

Topics: Letters from Moscow and Massive Douchebags

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Jazz in Idaho? It's true!

What: Lionel Hampton International Jazz Festival
Where: Moscow, Idaho
Why: Because even Idaho needs jazz
Who: Last night featured a headlining performance by Dr. John

As the self-proclaimed coolest person in Moscow it's hard for me to admit this. Yesterday I wasn't even in the top five of cool people in this Idaho college town. Dr. John, the Night Tripper himself, was here. As cool as I am (as cool as I think I am), I am nowhere near as cool as Dr. John. Sorry, folks, just not happening.

I'm not as cool as his band, either, so there is three more spots that I fall.

I'm not as cool as Georgia-born trombone player Wycliffe Gordon, so that dropped me out of the top five.

But anyway...

For four days every February, the University of Idaho hosts the Lionel Hampton International Jazz Festival. This might seem weird, especially if you've ever been to North Idaho, one of the whitest places in the country. Besides nightly concerts featuring jazz icons (Dizzy Gillespie and Ella Fitzgerald have played here in the past), students from middle, junior, and senior high schools are invited to participate in adjudicated workshops and clinics. While the UI student body bitches about their parking spaces being taken and how a gaggle of middle school kids jammed the lunch line, there is constant music going on.

Continue reading "Jazz in Idaho? It's true!"

Topics: Jazz and Letters from Moscow

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I'm Wet, How Do You Think I Am?

I'm back in Seattle for today. OK, I'm here for Van Halen, but just for today. I'm wet thanks to the rain. You know, the rain that keeps the Pacific Northwest green the rest of the year. As wet as I am, it is better than being stuck on the Passes, Snoqualmie or Stevens. Sure, it took 12 hours to get here from Moscow by bus, but it's VAN HALEN.

So, if you let a little rain stop you from going to this show, or even from the Tegan & Sara gig at the Showbox, just remember what some people have gone through to get here.

In case you wonder what you'd be missing, here's a clip from Van Halen's San Diego show:

See you at the show.

Topics: Letters from Moscow

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No King for Spring

Due to a back injury, his royal evilness King Diamond has canceled his 2008 North American tour. The Seattle show had been set for April 22 at El Corazon.

Yes, I'm sad. You see, I have this list of bands I want to see before they die and the King is on it. The announcement of this tour was a happy day and now those hopes have been dashed. Who knows when King Diamond will tour again? Satan, maybe, but he ain't talking.

I can't go to England for Led Zeppelin, so that's another off the list. Not that I ever had any hope of seeing them anyway, reunion or not. Unless Jimmy Page wants to tour. Hell, I'd even pay to see Zep.

The good news is that Iron Maiden announced two U.S. dates for their world tour, Feb. 19, 2008 at the Forum in L.A. and March 14, 2008 at the Izod Center in New Jersey.

L.A. in the spring sounds good to me.

Topics: Concert News and Letters from Moscow

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Everybody Run, Celine Dion is Coming!

October 18, 2008. Perhaps your neighbors are already excited for this date, nearly a year a way. Thank God I won't be in town.

I lived in Las Vegas for three years. OK, I lived in Henderson, but it's practically the same thing. I occasionally ventured to The Strip, usually toting out-of-towners. Once such night I became separated from my group while at Caesar's Palace. I soon found myself in a part of the hotel/casino very near the theater hosting Celine Dion's "A New Day."

The room flooded with men bulging out of their suits, but more clean cut than the average Vegas bouncer. Celine was about to enter the room on her way out of the hotel. I ran, which is something I actively avoid doing. You see, Celine Dion scares me. Her voice, her face, her scarecrow-like body; I feel the need to scream and swear whenever I see or hear her. The possibility of being in the same room as her was unbearable.

Some of you out there will spend money to do the thing that scares me most. The good news is that her tour will take her out of Las Vegas.
Maybe I'll go back.

Celine Dion, 10-18-2008, at the Tacoma Dome.

Topics: Concert News and Letters from Moscow

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Heroin Diaries For My Birthday

Who: Nikki Sixx
What: Appearance and signing for his book The Heroin Diaries.
When: 2 p.m. Saturday.
Where: Barnes & Noble, 2700 NE University Village
Why: Because next Wednesday is my birthday and a signed copy would make a kick ass present.

You know you love me. Why not show it by going to Motley Crue Bassist Nikki Sixx's book signing and getting me a copy for my birthday? You know you want to go anyway. Make it double-sweet by having Sixx sign a book for me, too.

It's easy. Show up early. Buy two copies of the book, one for you and one for me, then stand in line and wait your turn. When you get to the table, tell Sixx that a fan stuck in Idaho (he'll understand, having spent a good portion of his growing up years in Jerome, Idaho) wants an autograph for his birthday.

You will be rewarded when you read the book. It's an interesting read, to say the least.

After that, send me a message (or leave a comment) and I'll ge in touch with you for the details on how I get my book.

Helping people makes you feel good. Help me out and I will eat a slice of cake in your honor. 

Topics: Letters from Moscow and Shameless Self-Promotion

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Welcome to the Metalocalypse

What: Metalocalypse
Where: Cartoon Network's Adult Swim
Why: Because it's the most brutal animated program EVER!

Yeah, I have some extra time today. You noticed, too? I've spent some of that time on adultswim.com watching episodes of Metalocalypse, a show following the on and off stage exploits of Dethklok.

Dethklok, according to the show, are the world's most popular band as well as being the 12th largest economy. Dethklok is also an international group, with members from the U.S. and Scandinavia.

The music great, too, which is the why I've been catching up on past episodes.

Dethklok's Dethalbum will be released tomorrow. 

The drumming on the album is by Gene Hoglan of Strapping Young Lad, Death, Dark Angel, and Testament fame. That should be enough for any metal fan to want to hear it.

Wanna see some?

Topics: Letters from Moscow and Music television

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So You Wanna Be a DJ?

You have to love free-form college radio. Hell, they'll even give me a chance to be on the air.

That's right, T.J. is now a DJ.

Part of me, granted a very small part, feels bad about pimping my own show. On the other hand, if I don't promote myself, who will?

The show airs from 9 to noon on Saturdays. I play all kinds of music: heavy metal, death metal, black metal, NWOBHM. You know, all kinds.

Like I said, it's free-form. I get to do whatever I want.

As long as I don't swear.

Shitpisscuntfuckcocksuckermotherfuckertits. With thanks to George Carlin. 

If you like metal, and I know some of you do, listen to my show. Feel free to send me a request, too. If you don't like metal, you should tune into the streaming broadcast just to hear me talk.

Check out the schedule, too. You might find something you want to listen to that isn't me. I suggest the Hawaiian Happy Hour on Fridays. Starts at noon and ends at 2:30.

Because in Hawaii, happy hour is two-and-a-half hours long.

Topics: Letters from Moscow

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Moscow Rock City

So instead of doing homework, I went to Hastings, our local music/video/book retailer.I've been there a lot this week, more than I should have. Such is life.

Today I found a copy of Detroit Rock City, the 1999 comedy following a group of young KISS fans, in the bargain bin.

Score one for me. While this isn't the best movie ever made, not even as good as Wayne's World or the ultimate rock/stoner movie Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, it does have its moments. And for six bucks, how could I pass up this opportunity?

Too bad I won't get to watch it for a few hours. Not only do I have that homework to do (Donde esta el bano?), but I have work on my own paper to do. College life is what it is and I'm here for a while still.

Good thing I have cheap, stupid movies to keep me company. Here's a clip for you. 

Topics: Letters from Moscow

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The Last First Days: Iron Maiden in Moscow (Idaho)

There are some days when you just need to sit back, throw on some Iron Maiden and let the world pass you by. I have the Iron Maiden part taken care of.

Yesterday was the first day of fall semester here at the University of Idaho in Moscow. If things work out, it will have been my last first day. Yes, there is still spring semester and maybe a summer course, but those days don't have that "back to school" mystique.

I couldn't wear a "cool, new outfit" for the first day because I didn't have any money until after my two Monday course were over. I wore the only concert T-shirt I bought all summer: Ozzfest 2007. Naturally, I was asked if Ozzfest was the highlight, the cornerstone, of my summer. It's hard not to say yes.

There's more. Keep reading for the surprise at the end.

Continue reading "The Last First Days: Iron Maiden in Moscow (Idaho)"

Topics: Letters from Moscow

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