First, you’ll need some weed. Start with a few grams, so you have plenty to play with. Get a grinder to shred the plant material it into tiny pieces but keep it fluffy. Then you have to decide what kind of joint you want to roll. The three major types are basic joints, bats, and blunts. You’ll also want a clean, flat surface to work on and something long and thin to poke/fill with.
When you have all your parts, put on a good TV show or album and grind a bunch of weed until you have a respectable pile of fluffy, shredded bud. Get comfortable with the fact that you are probably going to go through a pack of papers before you begin to get the hang of it.
Basic joint: Grab several packs of papers from different brands. Look for single wide or 1¼. These will create joints approximately the same size as a cigarette. You might also try Randy’s, papers with a thin wire running through them. Fold your paper in half like a taco. Make sure the gum edge is on the inside, facing you. Fill with weed. Roll the weed-filled paper taco back and forth, and feel the weed turning into a little log inside the paper. Tuck the front flap of the paper taco behind your weed log with your thumbs and continue rolling back and forth. The paper should begin to tighten around the weed log. Again, don’t get too tight or you’ll block airflow. When you feel that the joint is holding its shape, wet the gum edge and roll one final time, allowing the gum edge to stick to the body of the joint. Twist the ends closed. Voila! An old-school doobie.
The bat (or cone): This one should end up looking like a bat with one narrow and one wide end. First, grab those papers. Then create a filter by rolling a small strip of stiff paper ½˝ x 1˝ wide into a tiny tube. Make sure you can suck through it. Place the filter at one end of the paper. Fill the rest with weed. Lick the gum edge near the filter and wrap it tightly around the filter. Continue filling the paper with weed. Give this a roll back and forth to create the weed-log effect. Lick the gum edge and seal. Take your long pointy tool and pack down the weed at the wide end, adding more weed, over and over, until it’s full. As before, don’t pack so tightly you can’t suck through it. Flatten the paper ends down or twist them closed. Ta-da! New-school bat joint, ready for a home run.
The blunt: This is a different rolling experience for a different smoking experience. Blunts are joints rolled in the tobacco-leaf casings of cigars or cigarillos, like Swisher Sweets or Phillies, or you can find blunt wrappers at most smoke shops. Take your cigarillo and empty out all the tobacco. If you like spliffs—joints rolled with a blend of weed and tobacco—save the removed tobacco, otherwise, offer it up to local spirits. Wet the wrapper with a little saliva or water. The idea is the make the wrapper a bit more flexible, but not to soak it. Pack the wrapper with weed. Lick one edge of the wrapper and tuck the other end under it, sealing it up. Once it’s sealed, “bake” your blunt with a lighter, running the flame quickly back and forth over the wrapper to dry the edge and tighten it up. Your blunt is ready to go.