Illustration by James the Stanton

Illustration by James the Stanton

Blunt Country

Now that it’s springtime, let’s get high and go outside.

Spring in Seattle—there’s nothing like it. Flowers are bursting out of every nook and cranny, birds are fluttering through the air, and dispensaries are filled with sales on all that luscious, crystallized hydroponic winter-grow bud. We live in a beautiful part of the country, and we shouldn’t take it for granted. We should get stoned and go wander around outside. Remember, it’s still illegal to smoke in public—and a federal offense to do so in national parks and other federally funded spots—so get yourself figured out before you head out.

Here are some of my favorite nearby outdoor spots to enjoy while blazed.

Snoqualmie Falls

Long before David Lynch had ever heard of the place, the breathtakingly beautiful Snoqualmie Falls were sacred to the Snoqualmie People as the spot where the First Woman and First Man were created by Moon the Transformer. Powerful even in dry seasons, the whole area shudders with the intensity of the falling water. It’s unimaginable after a heavy rain. It even creates its own microclimate, generating mists, fog, and clouds.

Several different vantage points are just a short (but steep) hike away. It’s a quick half-hour drive outside of town, and it’s even wheelchair-accessible. For stoners who want a mystical experience in the mists, or just a place to space out, the Falls is a great option.

Seward Park

With one of the best views of Mount Rainier in the city, Seward Park offers something for everyone. Sandy beaches facing Lake Washington run nearly the whole length of the park, perfect for getting faded and catching some rays. Stoner witches will want to journey into the 120 acres of old-growth forest dominating the heart of the park to commune with the elder trees—or just enjoy some pain-reducing edibles and exercise on the tennis courts or the flat 2.5-mile walk around the outside of the park. Keep your eyes open for the rabbit colonies that have taken up residence, as well as the flocks of parrots and the two bald eagles that live in the park.

The Ferries

Getting out of the city without a car can be hard, but walking onto one of the many ferries that cross Puget Sound makes it easy. With unparalleled views of the city, fresh air, sea spray, and playful seagulls, ferry rides are a uniquely Seattle way of enjoying a stoned spring day. Gliding along the relatively smooth waters of Puget Sound in one of those rumbling ferries is a surreal experience when toasted on some good indica.

If you want to go for a longer adventure, pack a lunch, imbibe your favorite uplifting sativa hybrid, ferry to Bainbridge Island, rent bicycles, and make the 5.5-mile journey to the beautiful and moving Bainbridge Island Japanese American Exclusion Memorial, which marks the era of Washington’s internment camps. Because it’s 2018, we can have a side of woke with our weed. Take a moment to think about some heavy shit.

When you’re done, pedal over to Hall’s Hill Labyrinth, a life-size stone paved maze based on the labyrinth at Chartres, surrounded by wood carvings and stone plaques, trees, and offerings left by other maze-running pilgrims. Take the time to walk the maze while you consider the fantastic miracle that is life on Earth.

stashbox@seattleweekly.com

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