Reality Really Bytes

As the so-called real world crumbles around us, things have been looking up in Azeroth. Jaina Proudmoor and the battered survivors of the Alliance against the Horde had barely established a tenuous foothold in south Kalimdor when their colony was threatened by Jaina's dad, the Mad Admiral, determined to wipe out her new allies, the Orcs. After much soul-searching, Jaina decided her honor counted for more than filial affection, so she helped the armies of Thrall whup the attacking fleet and earn free passage back home to Theramore.

This is old news, of course, if you spend much time in Azeroth yourself. At last count, some scores of millions of people worldwide do: 10 hours–plus a week on average. But if you are one of the dwindling number who've tried to ignore the growing clamor about "massively multiplayer online role-playing games," hoping the whole thing would just go away, I have bad news for you. MMORPGamers used to be a little shy about disclosing their addiction, but now it's getting so they won't shut up about it. If you read this newspaper, odds are better than even that someone you know, work with, or ride the bus with routinely spends hours alone in the dark, exploring an alien world, scheming, fighting, even sometimes killing others of your kind so that a self-invented avatar may survive. And they're paying a handsome monthly fee for the privilege.

If you're thinking of dipping a toe in the water yourself, or considering making a gift of virtual-world distraction for someone else, MMORPGs make for the lowest-pressure approach to the field available. Unlike the console-based games, the initial cost of signing on is modest ($50 vs. $250, say), and you're not committing yourself or your giftee to a proprietary system whose owners will decide what worlds you can access.

The bulletin opening this article comes from World of Warcraft, which, with 4.5 million subscribers, is currently the planet's hottest spot for a bit of virtual hack 'n' slash, threatening to lure players away from the most popular but fading "worlds" of Ultima Online and EverQuest. In the Warcraft world, a new player can create a serviceable avatar and start exploring in one session; the older leaders haven't quite kept up in user-friendliness, depending on sheer numbers of subscribers to keep players loyal.

The total number of players is crucial to the success of a game. It just isn't much fun poking around a landscape, however romantically rendered, if most of the "people" you meet are obvious automata, just there for atmosphere or to yield the occasional bit of information. Things get interesting when that gorgeous babe with the sapphire trident has a game plan of her own, even if "she" is actually a pimply software engineer in Pyongyang.

All three of the games mentioned so far evolved from the same psychic mulch: the swords-and-sorcery multiverse created by Edgar Rice Burroughs a century ago in his John Carter of Mars tales. Other popular "skins" stretched over the same basic good-vs.-evil worldview are Star Wars Galaxies, the umpteenth recycling of George Lucas' space-based pulp epic, and City of Heroes, in which comic-book superheroes and supervillains go interminably at it. P.S. You can be a villain yourself if your tastes lie that way.

Sui generic, though basically superheroes/ supervillians, is the ludicrously mistitled Final Fantasy, now in its 11th iteration and still battling on. MMORPGs have to expand to survive. No matter how well the game designers booby-trap their terrain with treasures and monsters, sooner or later a determined player will exhaust their charms and look for new worlds to conquer, and if you don't provide them, some other designer will. That's why World of Warcraft recently breathlessly announced that "three brand new realms . . . will be available to newcomers beginning their journey in Azeroth for the first time, and players who wish to start anew on a fresh new realm. Here is an opportunity for players to pioneer their way into untrodden territory, to shape the balance of power between the Horde and the Alliance, to make their mark on Azeroth!"

If you're not pioneer material, you still can visit such places as "the Burning Steppes, where Grom Hellscream fell in battle against the demon lord Mannoroth, and Ironforge, where the dwarves make their home below the mountain." If that still sounds a little too strenuous, you might consider Toontown, Disney's popular G-rated MMORPG for toddlers, subteens, and the faint of heart. A colleague's 11-year-old son speaks highly of Toontown. But you probably won't want to tell your seatmate on the bus about your adventures there.

rdowney@seattleweekly.com

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What they do, what they require, what they cost. By Christina Twu.