49ers vs. Seahawks: That's Going to be a Cold-Ass Night Game

In case you haven't heard, the NFL today decided that the San Diego Chargers and New York Jets blow so bad they're getting kicked out of the league or some shit. Anyway, their match-up on Dec. 23 will no longer be the Sunday Night game, which the United States Patent and Trademark Office and people under contract with NBC call "Football Night in America."

Now, that honor goes to the Seattle Seahawks and San Francisco 49ers.

I get the logic. The Hawks and Niners are playoff bound thanks to their terribly handsome and explosive rookie quarterbacks. To boot, it's a division game. Great TV.

But let me just speak for everyone who's planning on attending the game live when I say: fucking hell.

Do these sonsofbitches know what a winter's eve is like in Seattle? Forget softly floating snowflakes twinkling under the lights. Forget all that Vince Lombardi bullshit about frozen tundra.

Try swirling winds off the sound hacking some freezing snot into your face. Worse, as the temperatures drop, it'll probably turn the match-up into a ground game. Good for Beast Mode. Bad for everything else.

We'll deal, though. And if it gives Seattle bragging rights, fine.

But the one thing I ask is when NBC segues back from a commercial with shots of Pike Place, I want them to zoom in tight on the faces rain-gleaming faces of the market crowd, so the masses know the truth about Football Night in America.

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