This has to be the hottest political story of the year -- "Do Hormones Drive Women's Votes? " And the fact that CNN spiked it only hours after posting it shouldn't diminish its fertile contribution to the quirk-ridden science of predicting electoral behavior. Period.
See Also: Today in Sex: Ovulating Woman's Outfit Shrieks, "IMPREGNATE MEEEEE!"
Do we have your attention?
It just so happens, according to a new study to be published in Psychological Science, that single, ovulating females are far more prone to vote for liberals, while married, committed women -- presumably not on the rag -- usually press the lever for conservatives.
The now-deceased story, which ignited a social media frenzy earlier this week, theorized that single, hormone-firing women "feel sexier" when ovulating, propelling them to "lean more toward liberal attitudes on abortion and marriage equality" -- and by a margin of 20 percent were more inclined to vote for President Obama than Mitt Romney.
No word yet whether "Ovulators For Obama" buttons, or "Low on Estrogen But High on Mitt" bumper stickers are in the works.
The CNN story was based largely on research of Kristina Durante, an assistant professor of marketing at the University of Texas at San Antonio, who conducted online surveys of several hundred women.
Pummeled with mockery, and not-so subtle suggestions that the ruled-by-hormones article was one large pile of pseudo-scientific horse manure, CNN caved and unpublished the piece. It offered this lame apology: "After further review it was determined that some elements of the story did not meet the editorial standards of CNN."
Still, it was too late to put the inflamed genies back in the bottle, as hordes of women took to Twitter and pounded out hundreds of priceless satirical gems.
"When I ovulate I'm all 'DEFICIT SPENDING SPURS THE ECONOMY' but when I'm not I want to privatize Social Security."
And, "There's no way I'm voting if I have my period that day [Nov. 6]. I'll be too busy running away from bears and staying out of shark-infested waters and not being allowed to make tomato sauce."
And finally, "You know, Mom, sometimes I don't vote so fresh!"