Obama Romney Debate.jpg
Creative Commons Pool/Rick Wilking
We like our politics as sport. Blood sport. That's the reason presidential debates are so popular. We want to see "our

"/>

Five Big Losers from Last Night's Obama vs. Romney Presidential Debate

Obama Romney Debate.jpg
Creative Commons Pool/Rick Wilking
We like our politics as sport. Blood sport. That's the reason presidential debates are so popular. We want to see "our guy" go for the jugular and take the other twat out. At the very least we want to see a candidate slip up and say something dumb.

*See Also: People of Denver Debate 2012

20 Ridiculous Mitt Romney Memes!

Top 20 Paul Ryan 'Hey Girl' Memes on the Internet!

What did last night's Obama vs. Romney presidential debate in Denver teach us? In reality, probably not much. Predictably, both sides are claiming victory. Who really won? It's tough to pick winners in high stakes performance art. But what we can say for certain is who lost.

Here's a look at five big losers from last night's presidential debate.

Rich Guys Who Aren't Donald Trump

Donald Trump.jpg

It was a rough night for rich guys who aren't Donald Trump. There are lots of rich guys in our country, but only one - Donald Trump - got repeatedly mentioned during the first presidential debate as the example and epitome of rich guy-ness. Here's guessing a bunch of billionaires feel pretty dicked right now. Trump even told HuffPo how grateful he was to be named dropped while Obama described how even rich guys such as himself are defined as small businesses by Mitt Romney, saying: "It is a great honor to be representing free enterprise in this Country as a tremendous job creator. ... I greatly appreciate being mentioned by the President and Governor Romney on such an important event."

The list of big losers from last night's presidential debate continues on the next page ...

Mitt Romney's Five Boys

mitt romney family.jpg

There are plenty of perks that come with being one of Mitt Romney's five boys. There's the money. And let us not forget the money. And, of course, there's the money. But it must be tough to sleep at night knowing your dad will throw you under the bus (which the dog is tied on top of) at the first chance he sees to deliver a "zinger" at Obama's expense. When Romney proclaimed, "Look, I got five boys," he said. "I'm used to people saying something that's not always true, but just keep on repeating it and ultimately hoping I'll believe it. But that is not the case, all right?" you you could almost picture the crying and heartache. And the money counting.

The list of big losers from last night's presidential debate continues on the next page ...

Barack Obama

barack-obama-color.jpg

Let's be honest: The president was in a tough position last night. Americans overwhelmingly expected him to cream the snot out of Romney, because we watch politics like sports, and Romney comes off like a robot -- a robot that had done virtually nothing during the course of his campaign suggesting he was capable of rising to the occasion. Anything less than total, ass-whipping domination was going to seem like a letdown for Obama, and certainly for Obama's supporters. Excuses aside, however, the general perception is Mitt Romney "won" last night's showdown - which is a fact hard to fathom, and certainly something Obama could have prevented with a more impressive showing. His campaign previously in shambles, Mitt Romney is now inexplicably relevant again, and Obama supporters are left hoping this is all part of the incumbent's master plan, and he's got big swings left to take.

The list of big losers from last night's presidential debate continues on the next page ...

Jim Lehrer

Jim Lehrer.jpg

Jim Lehrer's dad was a bus driver. Because of this, Lehrer loves buses. He's even written a bunch of books about buses. At this point, he's basically a cute old man from a time long past. What's not cute is watching poor Jim Lehrer get beat to hell trying to rein in a presidential debate he's lost all goddamn control of. No, rather, that's 90 minutes of tough-to-stomach TV. It's worse than reading a book about buses.

The list of big losers from last night's presidential debate continues on the next page ...

Big Bird

Big Bird.jpg
Cognitive Dissonance

Without question, the biggest loser in Wednesday night's debate was Big Bird. Like Dick Cheney aims at the faces of friends while hunting, Romney put Big Bird square in his sights when he told Lehrer: "I'm going to stop the subsidy to PBS. .?.?. I like PBS. I love Big Bird. I actually like you, too. But I'm not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from China to pay for it." The statement, of course, puts the Republican challenger at a major disadvantage when it comes to the all-important toddler vote. Polls suggest most toddlers were already skeptical of Romney because of how his voice sounds on TV, and now they only have more reason to distrust the man.

Follow the Daily Weekly on Facebook & Twitter.

 
comments powered by Disqus