Huber, 2nd only to Rep. Dave Reichert
Today's primary is, traditionally, the people's election, the crowded free-for-all that pits dreamers and drum-beaters against professional politicians in the belief government perks await them, too. Some are serious contenders, the rest laughable gadflies and perennials, such as Mike the Mover, Goodspaceguy and Will Baker, the International Man of Diplomacy. There seemed to be a shortage of the latter this year - was it the economy, and lack of filing fees? Then again, Ernest Huber, "Congressman for America," has re-emerged in two categories, serious and laughable.
Huber, 2nd only to Rep. Dave Reichert
He's mad about the "Mexican invasion," the "demonic" move of extending gay rights to servicemembers, and Obamacare, "a slave master's bullwhip of population control using health care as a ruse. It must never be allowed to stand. As your Congressman, I'll rip such bullwhips from anyone's hand and work for their imprisonment." By the way:
Obama is a communist revolutionary and an enemy of the United States. After his election, Obama and his followers began incrementally overthrowing our government and installing a dictatorship. They must be immediately arrested and jailed by whatever means necessary for waging war against us. Mass impeachments can come later.
Is he out of touch with the GOP? Well, this is his second 8th District run and as the retired Navy officer points out, he finished second to Reichert in the 2010 primary (just 67,000 votes shy).
In contrast, perennial Mike the Mover (original name Mike Shanks until legally changed) didn't even bother to submit a candidate statement for the Voter's Pamphlet in his Senate run (saunter? sashay?) this year against Maria Cantwell. He's apparently content to get the free advertising on the ballot for his Mill Creek moving company.
Goodspaceguy (Mike Nelson) - amateur astronomer, amateur economist, professional candidate - is at least using the opportunity of his congressional campaign - this time in the 7th District - to blow off steam about the minimum wage from his blog, Our Spaceship Earth.
Job one is "the complete abolishment of the life-destroying minimum wages," says Goodspace, whose parents were millionaires.
Another perennial, Baker is best-remembered as the Tacoma gadfly who almost became state auditor (a nobody who drew 410,718 votes). This season he's trying to creep up on Cantwell's Senate seat.
In his campaign statement, he boils the race down to one issue: Impeaching Barack Obama. The president, he says, gave U.S. spy drone technology to Iran (and, through Iran, to China and Russia).
It's the kind of platform that meshes perfectly with his other longtime campaign strategies: not talking to the press, raising no money, and getting thrown in, then out, of jail (he was asked to leave his cell, and refused).
But of all the perennial candidates, Dr. Muhammad Said seems to have figured out a way to make some money at it, combining medicine with politics. As the Ephrata medical doctor says on his combo congressional campaign/family-practice appointments web page:
As a doctor, if someone comes to me complaining of a severe headache, I would be a very poor doctor if I simply gave him aspirin, without looking at the real cause of this headache, such as a migraine, tension, brain tumor, cerebral hemorrhage, etc. Compare this to our foreign policy and the ills of our country become all too clear.
Running against veteran U.S. Rep. Doc Hastings, Said has been seeking office since 1984. Apparently in hopes of offering up something other candidates can't, his website includes a page entitled "Miracles In Life."
With great anticipation, we clicked on the link. "Under construction," it said. Perhaps he's reserved the space to announce his first election victory.
(Still haven't voted? Last-minute rundowns - including who the perennial candidates are - here at Politics1.com).