People of Seattle, Hempfest 2012 is upon us. Come Friday, our fair city will gather together on the waterfront to celebrate all things herb. We here at Seattle Weekly are committed to making sure you have the best time possible, and in the coming week will offer insights from our years covering past Hempfests. Today, we give you the do's and don'ts of Hempfest fashion.
DO cover 'em up
Like the bud of the marijuana plant itself, nipples are a beautiful thing. However, Seattle's public nudity ordinance, like federal drug law, is still on the books, Hempfest or no.
Women can get around this using the newest pasty technology available, as demonstrated here.
As these gals show, pasties today conveniently come in all leaf shapes and shades of green, so you can be sure to fit into the Hempfest crowd, no matter where you lose your shirt.
DON'T show up looking EXACTLY LIKE MICHAEL PHELPS
Holy shit. Is that him? I know he's a stoner. If it's not, this dude is pulling a fashion faux pas posing as a national hero at a subversive event like Hempfest.
DO wear exercise appropriate clothing
Hacky. Ultimate. Balls attached to strings. Despite lame-stream-media stereotypes, pot-smokers love to get out and break a sweat. That's why you should show up in clothes that won't weigh you down when your heart rate gets up. These women provide perfect examples:
DON'T dress up like an alien
You'll freak some people the fuck out.
DO braid it if you got it
DON'T dress up like a chicken.
People will think you like Chick-Fil-A, which can go fuck itself.