TV is good for lots of things. Entertainment. Relaxation. Mindless zoning out. But when it comes to brainstorming creative ways to kill your step-dad, people would be well advised to look further than an episode of CSI. A woman in Marysville found that lesson out the hard way this week.
Not terribly surprising, considering the hair-brained scheme, the woman apparently told police she got the idea from TV.
From the Herald:
The suspect reportedly told Marysville police that she got the idea after watching an episode of the popular crime drama "CSI." She said she thought the insulin-spiked drink would shut down the man's pancreas and kill him, court papers said.
She said the attempt at poisoning was retaliation for the man attempting to strangle her the night of July 12, court papers said.
The thing is, insulin wouldn't have done the trick. The Herald reports that investigators working the case conferred with medical professionals who confirmed as much. Also, it's just kind of dumb.
The woman apparently took the insulin from her diabetic sister, squirting what the Herald calls "two needles full" (which almost surely means two syringes full) into her step-dad's bottle of vodka. When he drank the odd mixture, the man felt dizzy and got a headache.
And that's about it.
While she may not be the stealthiest of killers, it appears the woman has at least a tiny bit of conscience coursing through her body. The Herald reports that the man received a text message just before pouring himself the fateful drink (which he mistakenly thought was from a joking coworker and ignored), saying "Don't drink your boose (sic)."
When the man called the cell phone number from the text message, after downing the tainted vodka, his step-daughter answered - which had to be at least moderately shocking. According to the Herald, the step-daughter told him she put rubbing alcohol in his vodka, but didn't explain the action.
But, really, when it comes to putting strange and potentially harmful agents in someone's vodka, no explanation is necessary.