graboid mug.jpg
No one is talking about the potential for Graboids ...
As you know, hedge-fund manager Chris Hansen went before the King County Council Tuesday to

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PHOTOS: Five Other Highly Unlikely Risks Posed By a New SoDo Arena

graboid mug.jpg
No one is talking about the potential for Graboids ...
As you know, hedge-fund manager Chris Hansen went before the King County Council Tuesday to sell his proposed SoDo arena - doing everything within his power to alleviate the concerns of politicians hip enough to public opinion to generally support a return of NBA basketball to Seattle, but still not completely onboard with the project because of the potential risk (imagined or real) to King County taxpayers.

As you'll recall, earlier Tuesday Seattle Port Commissioner Tom Albro, in a meeting with the King County Council, said the proposed arena would be a "job killer" for the port without significant money spent mitigated traffic issues. King County Council member Larry Gossett subsequently challenged Albro's contention and ability to see the future, but there's no doubt about it: there are still a number of folks who seem poised to fight Hansen's proposed arena tooth and nail.

For his part, Hansen has attempted to soothe concerns, telling the King County Council on Tuesday that, no matter what, there will be risks with a new arena.

From the Seattle Times:

"You can't take away every possible risk," Hansen said. "Al-Qaida could launch a nuclear strike against the arena neighborhood. A tsunami could take away the seawall." But, he added, "there's not a reasonable scenario in which the city and county would not be protected."

Hansen is right. While many have been caught up talking about all the potential dangers posed by the envisioned SoDo NBA/NHL arena, very little attention has been given to threats like Al-Qaida and nuclear war. What's up with that?

Since anything could happen, as Hansen astutely points out, here's a list of five other highly unlikely yet still technically possible risks associated with a new NBA arena in SoDo:

Gypsy Moth Infestation

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The Washington State Department of Agriculture doesn't mince words when it comes to the dreaded Gypsy Moth, calling the deplorable creature, "the most damaging forest insect ever introduced into North America." The Gypsy Moth has four stages of life, with its "late instar larvae" stage being the most vile and destructive. Honestly, if we do build Hansen's arena, what's stopping the gypsy moth from reducing it to rubble (other than the fact gypsy moths eat trees and shrubs)?

Our list of very real imaginary risks posed by a new SoDo arena continues on the next page ...

Falling Sky

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We've all heard rumors about the sky falling. While not many have actually seen such an unimaginable disaster take place, there's no way to know for sure whether or not a new SoDo arena will push us over the edge and make apocalyptic fears a reality. Just because there's no evidence to suggest the sky will fall if a SoDo arena is built doesn't mean it won't happen, and the King County Council is wise to protect its constituents from such a potentially potential catastrophe. Politicians in office are rarely re-elected after the sky has fallen. Better safe than sorry, right?

Our list of very real imaginary risks posed by a new SoDo arena continues on the next page ...

Rampant Diarrhea Spread through Unwashed Hands and High Fives

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When a new arena does finally get built, there will almost certainly be a ton of high fiving. And while basketball fans are generally cleanly people, it only takes a small amount of germs to spread a large amount of diarrhea. To prevent a potentially explosive outbreak, it might be wise for the CDC to embark on a public awareness program now to help drive home the importance of hand washing prior to high fiving. At the very least it's a conversation we need to have as a community.

Our list of very real imaginary risks posed by a new SoDo arena continues on the next page ...

Disruption in Space-Time Continuum

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According to the Internets, "the starship USS Enterprise once accidentally entered a space-time continuum when passing through the Galactic barrier of negative energy at the edge of the galaxy at a high warp factor." I'm sure we all remember it well. And without some Kollos to help guide us back should a new arena in SoDo result in a similar disruption of the space-time continuum, we'd be pretty much screwed. Last time I checked we don't know any Kollos. Let's all keep this in mind.

Our list of very real imaginary risks posed by a new SoDo arena continues on the next page ...

Graboids

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Talk about freaky. Surely we all remember the Kevin Bacon flick Tremors, not to mention the cinematic efforts it spawned: Tremors 2: Aftershocks, Tremors 3: Back to Perfection, and the prequel, Tremors 4: The Legend Begins. As you'll recall, those massive ground snake things -- Graboids -- had, like, three tongues and could hear anything. A dribbling basketball would certainly be enough to send them searching for blood. Yet for some reason no one is talking about the potential for Graboids when it comes to Hansen's proposed arena. Someday we might be sorry ...

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