facebook-logo12.jpg
Oh my god. It's been damn near insufferable. With Facebook's official IPO today, and Zuckerberg and Co. ringing the Nasdaq opening bell this morning, the

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Five Things You Can Buy Instead of Facebook Stock

facebook-logo12.jpg
Oh my god. It's been damn near insufferable. With Facebook's official IPO today, and Zuckerberg and Co. ringing the Nasdaq opening bell this morning, the buildup over the last week has been borderline ridiculous.

Facebook stock-related stories have dominated seemingly every news outlet's content for the entire week, and the frenzy seems certain to reach its climax today, with the company and its investors positioned to rake in roughly $18.4 billion from the IPO. It's going to be madness (it actually already is), and chances are, you - gentle reader - aren't going to be involved in any of it.

Sure, we're all involved to some extent. Facebook has become part of our collective lives and social existences - it's inescapable. But when it comes to actually buying some of the hot-shit stock today, most of us won't be part of the action.

But there's no need to be sad. We can't all be stock-buying rich guys. Some of us have more down-to-earth things to do with our hard-earned cash than drop $38 to $42.05 a share on Zuckerberg's dorm-room epiphany gone wild.

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Put It on the Ponies Like a Certain Esteemed Member of the Seattle Weekly Staff

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Yesterday was a pretty quiet day around Seattle Weekly headquarters ... except, that is, in one corner of the office. Here, one esteemed member of the Seattle Weekly staff was busy - busy planning his action for Saturday's Preakness. And who can blame this person? With a history as the Illinois correspondent of the Daily Racing Form, dude knows a thing or two about the ponies. Plus, it's hard to beat the rush that comes from watching a horse you put it all on bolt from the back of the pack to steal victory. Or, for that matter, the rush (of nausea) that comes from seeing a horse you put it all on fade to the back. Will this person win big Saturday? The mood in the office come Monday will tell the tale.

The list of things you can buy instead of Faebook stock continues on the next page ...

Buy Something Nice for the Winklevoss Twins

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You know who's not celebrating Facebook's big day? The Winklevoss twins. And lord knows you can only row away your pain for so long. Chances are $42.05 buys a pretty decent bouquet of flowers - why not send one to Cameron and Tyler to help them get over the hurt?

Buy a Liquor Store

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Sure, there's a chance the Washington State Supreme Court will step in and quash the entrepreneurial good times, but fuck that noise. We're already in too deep. With the Washington State Liquor Control Board set to publicly auction of the last 18 of the state's liquor stores in late May (you know, the stores that were already auctioned off once but people failed to pay for), now is your chance to get in on the action. My guess is the liquor store in Ocean Shores won't go for much more than a few shares of Facebook stock anyway.

The list of things you can buy instead of Faebook stock continues on the next page ...

Buy a Quarter Tank of Gas

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Now at $42.05 a share (as of this writing), Facebook stock will run you about as much as it currently costs to fill up a quarter of the gas tank in your Chevy Tahoe. But Facebook stock can't drive your ass to work. Keep this in mind.

Buy Some Advertising on Facebook

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Now that GM is out of the way there's even more opportunity for you to advertise your nail salon on Facebook. Cha-ching!

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