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Seattle can be so super sometimes. Like when a guy who calls himself a real-life superhero challenges a guy who calls himself a real-life supervillain


Phoenix Jones Calls Rex Velvet 'The Kim Kardashian of Villains,' Challenges Nemesis to a Duel

Rex Velvet 150x120.jpg
Seattle can be so super sometimes. Like when a guy who calls himself a real-life superhero challenges a guy who calls himself a real-life supervillain to a fight on the radio.

Phoenix Jones appeared live and in costume yesterday morning at the KISS 106.1 studios, ready to engage his cheeky arch-nemesis Rex Velvet in a war of words. Velvet, who dubbed himself "the people's villain," and called Jones "a hobo snitch in a mask" in a viral video he released earlier this month, obliged.

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Illustration by Dan Carino
After making the costumed crusader wait around for about two hours, Velvet called in to the Jackie and Bender show (click link for full audio). Amusingly, Jones seemed to have taken the previous public slights from Velvet quite personally.

"You're fake," Jones said. "You're a villain, and you won't do anything villainous and you make YouTube videos."

Jones proceeded to throw down the gauntlet: he challenged Velvet to a 10-minute debate followed by a 3-minute fight, in which the villain could wield "any weapon...other than a gun."

Velvet demurred, and Jones continued. "Villains fight superheroes, and fake villains make YouTube videos," he said. "You're like the Kim Kardashian of villains."

That's when things got really good. With his impeccable, over-the-top evil voice, Velvet defended Kardashian's honor and hinted at an alliance. "Is that all you have to say?" Velvet replied. "Your little VH1 reference to Kim Kardashian? [She] is very nice, by the way. I've met her, and she's on our side."

They each accused each other of self-promotion (Velvet: "Let's separate fact from fiction: Who is dressed as a superhero right now at a radio station calling out a fictitious villain?"

Jones: "I don't think I promoted anything today, except maybe you, which is sad.") before they got down to brass tacks. Would Velvet, who reportedly works a day job as a wedding photographer, agree to a debate/fight with Jones, a former mixed martial arts champion?

"Well, it depends," Velvet said. "Does he have body odor? I heard he has body odor."

And that was a wrap, with the host, Bender, imploring listeners to text in. "Dear God shut the two of them up," he said. "They're both annoying grown men who are acting like kids."

Jones took to Twitter afterword, mostly retweeting words of encouragement from his legion of followers. He also linked to his new music video, and his recent spot on the National Geographic TV series about people with double-identities.

Velvet, meanwhile, posted a message on Facebook that hints at the possibility of an actual, in-the-flesh confrontation. Or something. Here's the communique in its entirety:

Dear Citizens,

These superhero nuts must be stopped. By acknowledging a "real super villain" on the air, Phoenix Jones clearly needs to be institutionalized - not out interjecting himself into incidences that don't require further escalation from a dork in tights "trying to stop crime."

Again, if you wish to uphold the law - earn the badge. You're a joke and everyone knows it. Ask any police officer who he/she agrees with. (Not to mention you're a super silly goose.)

As a fair negotiator and a man of a sound mind, I do not decline a showdown of any sort. I am officially initiating a new phase within the SVA that will be revealed soon in an effort to begin taking villainy to an entirely new level.

There you have it.

Phoenix Jones: what an idiot.

Long live the alliance & the voice of the people against morons.

Sincerely Yours,

Rex Velvet | The People's Villain of Seattle

PS: I know a guy who can fix that caps-lock button.

Let the games begin!

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