NewSeahawksHelmet.jpg
Well hot shit! Today marks the start of this year's NFL draft, a formerly one-day event that's now been stretched into a three-day, televised extravaganza

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Five Things (Other Than Players) the Seahawks Should Draft

NewSeahawksHelmet.jpg
Well hot shit! Today marks the start of this year's NFL draft, a formerly one-day event that's now been stretched into a three-day, televised extravaganza of anti-climatic cell-phone conversations and poor commentary. For the second year in a row the first round of the NFL draft will be held in prime time, commencing this evening at 5 p.m. local time. The Seahawks hold the 12th overall pick.

The days leading up to the draft, of course, is a time of limitless, ridiculous possibility. For instance, there was no doubt a stretch in early 1991 when those inside the Seahawks organization would have told you the sky is the limit with San Diego State quarterback Dan McGwire.

We all know how that turned out.

Sadly, especially as it relates to the home team, the draft is only about acquiring new players. Think how much fun it would be if the Seahawks could draft anything that might help the team.

Like ...

The Other John Schneider

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Sure, Seahawks fans are all familiar with General Manager John Schneider at this point. He arrived from Green Bay in the same upheaval that brought Pete Carroll to town, and with one roster move after another the duo has managed to give Hawks fans hope that the future might hold something other than continued Northwest pigskin irrelevance. That said ... it'd be a hell of a lot cooler if the Seahawks had GM John Schneider AND former Dukes of Hazard star John Schneider working together to bring a Super Bowl title to Seattle! Can't deny that.

The list of things (other than players) the Seahawks should draft continues on the next page ...

New New Uniforms

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Jesus H. Christ the new Seahawks uniforms are dreadful. It sure would be nice to hit the do-over button on that one and unveil a fashion statement that looks less like something the Orlando Thunder of the defunct World League would be embarrassed as fuck to put on.

A Shirt for Pete Carroll

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OK, so maybe this one's a bit of a stretch. As far as we can tell most of the time Pete Carroll IS wearing a shirt, we admit it. But still ... a simple Internet search reveals far more shirtless pics of Carroll (one) than, say, Vince Lombardi. Or Bill Parcells. Or pretty much any other football coach in his right mind. I mean, Carroll's obviously got better abs than all the aforementioned pigskin legends, but that doesn't mean people want to see the Seahawks' headman oiling up his chest and hitting the boardwalk.

The list of things (other than players) the Seahawks should draft continues on the next page ...

Somewhere for Leroy Hill to Smoke Weed In Peace

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It would be ridiculous of me to come down on Leroy Hill for smoking weed. I mean, hell, judging by this post alone most readers are probably convinced I'm baked 24 hours a day. But what Leroy obviously needs is a new locale for his weed smoking. The car and his Atlanta condo have proven dangerous. Perhaps the Seahawks could draft a quiet little spot in White Center for Hill to smoke-out without fear.

A Cocktail-Style Bartender for the VMAC

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During training camp Pete Carroll already brings in a DJ for the Seahawks to jam to while stretching their collective groins. And the team's 200,000-square-foot training facility in Renton - known as the Virginia Mason Athletic Center, or VMAC for short - has a dock for boats and seaplanes. Honestly, the place is a total party - but no party is complete with a Cocktail-style bartender to sling drinks. Am I right? Shit, it's the draft ... anything is possible.

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