Seattle Police are looking for a white female in her twenties seen with green leggings early yesterday morning in Belltown. That was the best description they could come up with, but there's one little problem. It was last call, in Belltown, and on St. Patrick's Day. Half of Seattle's female population had to be wearing green stockings. That's like looking for a scarf at a Sounders game, or a jaywalker on third avenue. Oh yeah, we forgot to mention, she also stabbed a guy. That might narrow it down a bit. So how did this happen?
Police say that during the Belltown exodus these two groups began arguing on Lenora between 2nd and 3rd Avenue. The shouting match escalated as the woman up and attacked the man. He punched her and knocked her down, so she came right back up and punched him in the abdomen a couple times.
At least, they looked like punches according to people looking on. What actually happened was she came up with a knife and stabbed the man in the stomach in the stomach. Twice. Happy Hour not-so-much for that guy who now gets to be called 'victim' in police reports. He had to be rushed to Harborview Medical Center with what paramedics classified as life-threatening injuries.
Before his friends could count their Lucky Charms for being alive, 'green leggings' was gone. She is still considered at large, so if you know who this holiday-conscious hellion was, or if you see someone still wearing green tights on not-St. Patrick's Day, please call the
fashion police. Anonymous tips are welcome.