I'm the new guy at the Seattle Weekly. Started this morning. In an attempt to relate to my new coworkers and build relationships (and especially after reading this confidential memo from Managing Editor Caleb Hannan) I'm going to start dropping a whole shit-ton of fucking swear words around the office. It just seems like the thing to do.
Fuckin' A. Let's start the four-letter bonding.
It's not the first time such a fucking awesome study has been conducted. Forbes wrote about the possible positive impacts of expletives in 2011, saying:
A study in 2006 by Cory R. Scherer and Brad J. Sagarin, then at Northern Illinois University, backs that up. In the study 88 university students were randomly assigned to listen to one of three speeches on the topic of high tuition rates. The speeches were similar in length and substance, with one notable difference: In one speech the speaker cursed at the beginning, in another at the end, and in the third, not at all. Results: The two orators who swore scored higher in persuasion and perceived passion than the one who didn't. Better yet, the swearing did not affect the students' perception of the speakers' credibility.
Dr. Robert Sutton, identified as a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford Engineering School and author of Good Boss, Bad Boss, spoke with Forbes regarding office cussing, and employers' attempts to curb it through profanity policies.
From that article:
Sutton argues that taboo words have an emotional impact that replacements cannot equal, and suggests that when public figures like Barack Obama and Donald Trump throw about an expletive (or several in Trump's case) it only helps them to appear more relatable. "There are times when cursing adds emphasis and does not necessarily hurt your image," he says.
So there you fucking have it. While everyone seems to agree that cussing in anger or cussing just because you're some sort of huge dickhead is not good for the office, and is likely to make coworkers hate you and get you fired, a few well-timed, non-aggressive fucks and shits can go a long way toward office morale and togetherness.
Now you fucking know.