Roseanne plans a "One Million Bitches" march
We now have this memorable assessment by statesman Zbigniew Brzezinski, who served Democrat and Republican White Houses, on


President Roseanne? GOP Voters Have Choice Over 'Repudiated Speaker' or 'Crack Addict'

Roseanne plans a "One Million Bitches" march
We now have this memorable assessment by statesman Zbigniew Brzezinski, who served Democrat and Republican White Houses, on the crop of 2012 GOP presidential contenders shuttling in and out of Washington in advance of the state's Saturday caucuses:

One of them sounds like a medieval Savonarola. Another one is trying to explain why he has some of his wealth located in the Cayman Islands. And someone else would go back to 1780. And then there is someone who is using his credentials as a repudiated speaker of the Congress to be president. I mean, this is just embarrassing.

There's also Billy Crystal's take :

A dark knight, an American psycho, a charismatic crack addict. You'll get to choose one on Super Tuesday.

It's not that Republicans and other anti-Obama voters don't have options, however. How does President Roseanne Barr sound, for example?

The comedian best remembered for her heavyweight TV show and grabbing her crotch after singing the National Anthem is one of dozens of less-publicized Americans running for the White House this year. Among other vows, she promises to outlaw war and lead a March of Bitches on Washington.

Barr is one in a throng of third party or independent candidates who have formally announced and filed with the Federal Election Commission, or formed exploratory committees. Many are sincere about leading America back to peace and solvency. Laurence J. Kotlikoff, a Boston University professor, for one, is hoping to head up the Americans Elect ticket, a non-partistan third party that's holding a national online primary to pick a presidential candidate.

"Our country is in deep trouble and our politicians are making things worse," says Kotlikoff. "It's time for bold new leadership to fix America." But first he needs 50,000 online clicks for the nomination to beat out other contenders. Find out how here.

In contrast, the oddball American Third Position Party has unanimously nominated Merlin Miller, a West Point graduate and Tennessee independent filmmaker, as its 2012 presidential candidate. "We must pursue truth, justice and liberty if we are to safeguard a future for our progeny," he says. He and the party also think the country should pursue white supremacism. They already have Ted Nugent's vote.

The Libertarian Party, meanwhile, hasn't picked its White House candidate yet, but will do so at a May convention in Las Vegas. Many are running for the top spot, but you can't find them listed at the "party of principle" website. It turns out the Libertarians recently voted not to publicly list the people they'll be voting on, in part "To avoid publicizing candidates whose presentation is viewed by most Libertarians as embarrassing."

But, for voters seeking options, there are more than a few lesser-known registered candidates listed here and other hopefuls listed here. They include environmentally concerned candidates from the Green Party, whose presidential nomination is being sought by, among others, Barr and physician Jill Stein.

Barr originally created her own group, the Green Tea Party, and promised a soothing time if elected. For starters, said Barr, who literally lives on a nut farm, she would forgive all student loans. As she told Jay Leno, "There'll be no more money, no more money systems. Everything will be based on barter and growing and eating vegetables."

This month, however, Barr announced she was contending for the Green presidential nomination, which she hopes to receive at the party's July convention. (This is a corrected version of the original post which said Barr was still running as a Green Tea hopeful).

On her Facebook page, she wrote yesterday that in America, "for speaking truth, women are called Bitches. I seek for next Mother's Day, a march of One Million American Bitches who can get the job done."

She also promises a three-step program to America's recovery: 1) making marijuana legal and 2) making war illegal - resulting in world bliss within her first year.

And her third step, which she says is the most important:

I WILL OUTLAW BULLSHIT: After the passage of this one law, the Patriarchy will inevitably begin to crumble...

As surely will Politics.

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