Welcome back to another exciting installment of This Week in Starbucks Crime, in which we catalog the bad acts occurring at Starbucks' 16,000-odd worldwide locations over the past seven days, as well as the week's fallout from prior Starbucks-related misdeeds. After a week free from any discernible Starbucks crime, we're honored to be back with you today to commemorate Terrorism Remembrance Week.
We begin in the eastern Washington town of Ritzville, where we kick things off in appropriate fashion: with a bomb scare!
As local TV station NWCN tells it:
A Starbucks employee told police that someone called saying that "there is a bomb in your store, everyone is going to die." The call came in at 10:43 a.m. [on Monday], and the employee could not tell if it was a male or female because the voice was altered. Shortly after, Starbucks received a second call saying the same thing.
The Starbucks and nearby establishments were evacuated and kept empty for nearly two hours, until the State Patrol was able to determine that there was not, in fact, any bomb. Still, scary!
Image Source Even Starbucks in places with names as upscale as Ritzville aren't immune from empty threats of terrorism.
We travel next to the southern California enclave of Temecula, where on Thursday morning a slender black man with close-cropped hair absconded with cash from his local Starbucks on Ynez and Winchester roads.
"It was so smooth, the way he did it. He just walked in all casual, took the money and walked out. If he grabbed it and ran out, everybody would be saying, 'Get him,'" witness Joe Snively told Patch's man in Temecula. "People were saying, did he just take the tip money?"
The alleged culprit remained at large for an hour before being arrested mere blocks from the scene of the crime. Darius Jerrod Frye, 22, has been charged with burglary, with his bail set at $5,000.
Image Source Darius Jerrod Frye's elegance during his alleged crime didn't help him in the end.
We conclude this week with a quick trip to the city of Boston, where the Bruins' Stanley Cup hero Milan Lucic was out on the town early on Tuesday morning when several concerned citizens observed him standing in front of a Starbucks and above a lady lying on the ground and wearing a silver sequined dress. According to witnesses, he was yelling at her, and threw a purse and a pair of high-heeled shoes at her.
Witnesses later saw the woman -- Lucic's girlfriend Brittany Carnegie -- running down Fleet Street in tears as the popular winger followed behind her. When officers arrived at the couple's home to investigate the incident, Lucic was allegedly "highly intoxicated and hostile."
As the officer continued to question Lucic, he "slammed his cell phone to the ground and yelled 'Do you know who I am?'?" the police report states.
Carnegie insisted to the police that Lucic never laid a hand on her and that she was unhurt, so no arrests were made.
The next day, Carnegie took to Twitter, slamming the news media for having the gall to report on the fact that several witnesses observed a celebrity hockey player physically assault his girlfriend and then yell at the police when questioned about his behavior.
"I didn't know that arguing over not wearing shoes was newsworthy," she wrote.
Until next week, let us never forgive, never forget, and always remember that when we drunkenly throw shoes and purses at our prone spouses on public streets, it might be newsworthy, especially when we are famous hockey heroes.