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One of the central figures in this week's feature story--" Porn, Piracy, and BitTorrent "--is John Doe #2,057, an anonymous Seattle man accused of illegally


The 5 Funniest Porn Titles Involved in BitTorrent Piracy Lawsuits

Thumbnail image for Pirate Face.jpg
One of the central figures in this week's feature story--"Porn, Piracy, and BitTorrent"--is John Doe #2,057, an anonymous Seattle man accused of illegally downloading the film Tokyo Cougar Creampies. Doe is adamant that he is innocent--he left his Wi-Fi network open, plus he's legally blind, which makes it nearly impossible to watch movies, hardcore porn included--but he agreed to pay a settlement worth several thousand dollars to the attorneys who sued him just to make the case go away. He was worried that if he fought back in court, his real name would be eventually be divulged, forever linking him with the ridiculous and raunchy title. But a bit of research reveals that Tokyo Cougar Creampies is relatively tame compared to some other porn flicks that have prompted mass lawsuits against cyber-pirates.

As explained in our story, the copyright lawyers filing the mass John Doe lawsuits often bank on the fact that accused pirates will be shamed into quickly paying up by virtue of the ignominious porn titles involved.

"None of these lawyers expect to get to court," says David Abrams, a fellow at Harvard Law School's Berkman Center for Internet and Society. "They want a subpoena so they can send out that settlement letter. I suspect it works well on people who download the movies and just as well with people who didn't, because of the threat of being exposed for downloading something like transsexual porn."

With that in mind, here are the five funniest, most outrageous porn titles we stumbled across when researching the John Doe Lawsuits.

5. Shemales From Hell This title raises the question: Are there shemales from heaven? Perhaps Illinois attorney John Steele knows. He filed a lawsuit on behalf of New Millennium TGA, Inc. in September 2010 against 300 pirates who allegedly downloaded Shemales From Hell, along with Shemales Yum and simply Shemale Pornstar. The Godfather trilogy they are not.

4. Teen Anal Nightmare 2 This one sounds less like porn and more like the aftermath of a bad dining experience at the food court. The case in question is West Coast Productions v. Does 1 - 5,829, filed in January in Washington, D.C., federal court. Wonder how the sequel compares to the original?

3. Relax He's My Stepdad 2 Ironically enough, this case was filed in West Virginia, a state that's been the butt of countless kissing-cousins jokes. The lawsuit is the work of Kenneth Ford, who sued 1,037 John Does on behalf of the film's producer, Combat Zone Inc.

2. A Punk Rock Orgy in the Woods What makes the orgy punk rock? Are the Sex Pistols providing the soundtrack? More questions for John Steele, who sued in Northern Illinois federal court on behalf of Boy Racer Inc.

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1. Nude Nuns With Big Guns The title--and the poster above--says it all. This fine film was at the heart of a lawsuit filed against 5,865 John Does in Central California federal court in March. Update: It seems this movie isn't so much a porn as nun-ploitation action schlock. Here's a link to the (admittedly kick-ass) trailer for the film.

And, because it's apropos, here's the famous "Happy Scrappy Hero Pup" scene from Clerks:

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