Jeff Reed, the Seahawks' new kicker, is not a terrible NFL kicker. He's got a 91 percent career ratio for making field goals and has a 53-yarder as his longest. He's also not particularly notable either. He's never been to the Pro Bowl, has few game winners, and only played half a season with the Niners last year.
Jeff Reed is, however, very notable for other things--things that involve supreme douchebaggery.
The Guy Fieri Troll Doll bleached and spiked 'do sort of goes without saying in terms of tool status.
We hear he no longer sports it. Let's hope not.
But the d-bag behavior of most concern is actually of the criminal variety.
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, take it away:
Reed, 29, went in to the men's restroom at Sheetz on U.S. Route 22 in New Alexandria borough shortly before 3 a.m.
After discovering that the paper towel dispenser in the bathroom was empty, Reed started loudly banging from inside the bathroom, state police said. He damaged the towel dispenser.
Essentially, he destroyed the towel holder because it had no towels.
Next we have this:
Police said Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed was cited for public drunkenness and disorderly conduct outside a bar a couple of blocks from Heinz Field, where the team beat the Cleveland Browns a few hours earlier.
. . . Lt. David Piasecke, of the city's Zone 1 police station, said two police officers were called to an unrelated incident at McFadden's on North Shore Drive about 9 p.m. Sunday when they saw Steelers tight end Matt Spaeth urinating next to a white sport utility vehicle in a parking lot.
Reed got out of that SUV and was told to get back inside, but he did not comply, and he turned toward Sgt. David Krueger with a raised fist, Piasecke said.
Public urination. The bar binger's favorite sport.
I'm also being told there are pictures of Reed in his element.
Here's a pic that he apparently texted to some random bar skeezers, via Deadspin. Note the expert manscaping.
Of course, none of this means shit if the guy can come to town and put a few game winners through the uprights. In fact, doing that might even partially forgive him for being part of the Steelers team that knocked the Hawks out of the Super Bowl.
So if you find yourself at Amber in Belltown throwing back Jäger Bombs and pumping fists, make sure to order an extra one for Reed. He's probably already there.