Last night, while walking to my local Grocery Outlet to get some cheap wine, I saw a man stapling something to a telephone pole. My first thought was that this was the poor dog owner who had lost his beloved Boston Terrier, Louie. It was only later, when I stopped by the pole on the walk home for a closer look, that I realized I was wrong: The man I'd seen was actually Seattle's famous, and famously elusive, "Nude Home Cleaner."
The legend, it is real.
Though his flyers are everywhere, Mr. Nude Cleaner has never, to my knowledge, been spotted in the wild. Which is why I'm now wracking my brain to remember details of my brief run-in with this urban Sasquatch. Here are three I've dredged up so far from the admittedly murky waters of my memory.
-- He's a fan of Rolling Rock. This is what I'm most certain about. Not only did I see him stapling his flyer to the telephone pole, I was also behind him in line, so I actually saw him purchase two tallboys before putting them in the messenger bag he had slung over his shoulder.
-- The pictures don't lie. As a breeder, I can't do much more than give you the basics: Yep, he was ripped. Yep, that's probably really him in the photos. And yep, he does sort of look like the DJ of a gay club that, if I were oriented that way, I'd wait hours to get into.
-- He likes comfortable shoes. Specifically, yuppie-approved, comic-book-character-sound-alikes Mephistos, or at least a pair that look an awful lot like Mephistos. (That whipping sound you hear is me flogging myself for actually being able to spot, and name, a $200 pair of shoes, after only a glance.)