Halfway through writing this post, Craigslist yanked the ad, but needless to say if you have $40,000 and want to be the proud owner of a new Portland-based co-ed kickball team, the current owner of the Dirty Birds would like to talk to you.
SELLING ADULT CO-ED CHAMPIONSHIP KICKBALL TEAM/FRANCHISE
I know it's strange right? A kickball team for sale. How could you benefit from buying a mid-core level kickball team that plays at unthank park (510 n. shaver pdx)? In many ways. If you are a kickball fanatic (aka a kickball slut), you can build the team in a way that suits you. You can make roster changes and additions, you can make yourself a "captain only" and not play. You can play full time and have a co-captain run the team while you avoid confrontation. you could make your team do warm-ups even if they don't like it. There are a ton of things that a captain/owner of a kickball team/franchise can do, it's practically witout limit. All you really have to do is follow the rules provided by a league that ref's and oversee's all the teams, their conduct, and their scheduling. Easy as pie!
What do i have to offer in this transaction? Not much. I have a print out of the rules and regulations which I downloaded from my p.c. one day. I have a blue bucket that carries our team banner, and some shoes, a magnetic clip-board w/ dry erase for roster line-ups, and I can throw in a couple of kickballs for an additional $15.00 a piece. In addition to all of this I can provide a managerial position overseeing the start-up of your ownership, if nessecary. You are dealing with a professional, and I only commit myself and my product 1500% each time. That's a shit ton of a percentage. Really high. Almost unbelievable, I know, but its not.
The team I am selling has a storied past which I was only a co-creator of. I have not discussed this sale with any of the players or the other co-creator of our team, so if you could keep this on the d.l. (dirty low) then we won't create any controversy. Thats why i have a co-captain.
To help in the decision-making process, you should know that the team plays at Unthank Park as part of the Underdog Sports League and it went 6-3 last year, after losing to the "brick wall known as the Orange-a-tang defense."
And if the team members' dedication to the sport of kicking rubber balls, while no doubt growing ironic mustaches and getting neck tattoos, doesn't impress you, its dedication to shotgunning beers will.
Here they are in action.
Please contact to current owner on the team's Facebook page for instructions on where to send the check.