Why Dennis Kucinich Would Be Terrible for Washington

In a perfect world, only a few dedicated political junkies outside of Ohio would know the name Dennis Kucinich. The west side of Cleveland, which he's represented for the past 15 years, is one of the poorest cities in America. An elected leader committed to serving such a desperate district would have long ago realized that the best way to help his impoverished constituency is through the kind of legislation that changes people's lives, even if it doesn't make headlines. Unfortunately, Kucinich prefers the attention.

There's a rumor going around that the antiwar vegan lefty might soon move to (this) Washington in order to stay in (that) Washington. Because of a dwindling population, Ohio is about to lose a congressional seat, possibly the 10th district Kucinich represents.

He was recently spotted fund-raising in Tacoma. And befitting a craven opportunist who will do anything to keep his comfy government gig, Kucinich press secretary Nathan White responded to the will-he-or-won't-he rumors with a statement that makes it seem as if his boss is the world's most eligible bachelorette:

After people found out that Congressman Kucinich's district could be eliminated or substantially altered . . . [he] received requests from people in twenty states, including Washington State, encouraging him to move and run in their area.

Dear Mr. White: Please allow this post to serve as a rebuttal to those supposed requests.

Kucinich has twice run for president, both times burning through $5 million in federal funds campaigning (or if you prefer, vacationing) in states that are warm--California and Hawaii--rather than ones that are cold--Iowa and New Hampshire--and have significant primaries. He's also revealed himself an enemy of the common man he purports to love, most recently in a $150,000 lawsuit against a congressional cafeteria operator who deigned to leave a tooth-cracking unpitted olive in his sandwich wrap.

From a reporter's perspective, a Kucinich move to Washington would be manna from heaven. (Speculation suggests he'd park his carpetbag in Jay Inslee's 1st, when the Democrat makes a run for the governor's office in 2012.) If you haven't yet noticed, shameless, attention-seeking politicians and media folk desperate to sate an ever-demanding public (present company included) have been involved in a century-long, republic-injuring co-dependent relationship. And a short guy who's willing to stick his hand up a ventriloquist dummy's ass a week after calling for the impeachment of the president is our kind of kink.

He's also the kind of candidate this state (not to mention any of the other 49) doesn't need. Go home, Dennis. You ain't wanted here.

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