The tiger-blooded warlock hasn't been on much of a winning streak lately, but hey, if you want to fork over $575 you can meet the man, get an autographed photo, and hear him ramble about his divorce tonight at the Comcast Arena in Everett.
Fresh off a visit to the tornado-ravaged town of Tuscaloosa, Sheen "performed" in Vancouver, B.C. last night. The reviewer from the Vancouver Sun sounded about as entertained as Sheen would be at an AA meeting:
The Warlock was, at best, subdued. [Stand-up comedian Russell] Peters tried to pry stories from him about celebrity sex, drug abuse and the porn star who tried to steal Sheen's Bentley; nothing went very far or came to anything.
With Peters repeatedly pausing to point out how Sheen no longer did drugs or drank, and the star complaining about the raw deal he's getting in a custody battle with his ex-wife (the divorce came through Monday), things got both maudlin and boring.
That echoes critics' takes from the San Francisco Chronicle ("It was, in terms Sheen fans can understand, like waking up next to a hooker after smoking a 7-gram rock."), Entertainment Weekly ("People start booing Sheen. Not playing around, but actually booing him. Sheen yells, "I already got your money, dude!"), and LA Times ("The Malibu messiah's stab at demagoguery died a quick and not entirely painless death.").
If you care to witness a live-action train wreck, tickets are still available for Sheen's gig tonight, starting at $50 all the way up to the aforementioned $575 "official meet and greet package." Or you could just stay at home and watch this video a few more times: