The lawyers at Monster Energy Drink want everyone to know that there is no way the company accidentally put a mouse inside one of its cans of "Blue"-flavored brain swill. Obviously Vitaliy Sulzhik, the Federal Way man who found a mouse in his can, had simply let the refreshing beverage out of his sight. And we all know that no mouse can resist an unattended can of ice-cold, delicious Monster.
The company put out a statement last night on the BevNet wire (your leading source of rodent-flavored libation news).
Here's a taste.
. . . we wholeheartedly believe that this lawsuit is frivolous, unfounded and is nothing more than a shakedown.
Mr. Sulzhik has stated he drank part of a Monster Energy drink and then left the can opened and unattended for hours in his car, providing ample opportunity for a small mouse to crawl into the can.
Now here's another look at the greasy bastard.
Again, Sulzhik, a 19-year-old sporty-sunglasses enthusiast, claims he bought the drink while shopping and drank nearly all of it, then, in the last gulp, sucked down a bunch of "debris" and the tip of a tail.
Next he vomited.
Then he called a lawyer.
Monster posits that if the mouse truly had been packed into the can at production, it would have dissolved into the weapons-grade acidity of the concoction, rendering it undrinkable (or at least more undrinkable than normal).
It's a reasonable point.
But the bit about a mouse climbing into his car, then into the can, seems a tad farfetched--like maybe the lawyer had been up too late drinking Monster when he thought of it.