We now know how bad a bad boy can be. In Detroit Saturday, Charlie Sheen and his "napalm-dripping brain" drew a big crowd that was soon booing, walking out within 10 minutes, and ripping up those prized $350 front-row tickets. The "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour sank fast at the first stop of a U.S. and Canadian schedule that ends at Everett's Comcast Arena next month. The first twisted fan to buy a ticket in Everett said he hopes to see "ranting and raving," and apparently that's what Sheen offered, heavy on the ranting (though he reportedly redeemed himself a bit last night in Chicago). When Detroit audience members booed him and his endless film clips, the diplomatic Sheen shouted "I already got your money, dude!" Here's some of what Entertainment Weekly reported:
After the opening comedy act is booed off the stage, Sheen appears, announcing "I am finally here to identify and train the Vatican assassin locked inside each and every one of you."
He says he seeks "Freedom from monkey-eyed . . . sweat-eating whores. Freedom from the dour and sour taste of malignant reproach . . . I'm a giant and leaky bag of mayhem."
"They took my awesome children . . . They took my sometimes bitchin' job . . . And when they thought there was nothing left, they tried to take my heart and brain and titanium spine. But they could not."
Audience grows restless. Nobody understands a word Sheen is saying. Including him.
"Is anybody else as confused by this shit as I am?" he finally asks. There are roars from the crowd. "I wrote every word!"
"Nothing terrifies a troll more than its own reflection," Sheen continues, before shifting gears into politics. "In a recent poll, they told me I'd bring down that whore [Sarah] Palin. I don't have time for that nonsense."