Yes. That headline really exists.
Mr. Poophausen--Louie to friends--is a 9-year-old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel with a nervous personality and a diagnosed heart murmur.
He's having a bad time.
The Oregonian reports that officials with the Oregon State Department of Fish and Wildlife have been doing something lately called "sea lion hazing." The hazing doesn't involve ass-paddling or snorting vodka, but actually detonating "seal bombs" to scare off sea lions that have been feasting on endangered fish in the area.
The bombs scare the holy bejesus out of little Louie. And as such, the Blackwells have been keeping him heavily drugged on sedatives so his widdle heart doesn't go splat. But they worry that these friggin' seal bombs are eventually going to be the end of their pride and joy.
Everton Bailey Jr./The Oregonian
"Whenever he hears an explosion, he shakes and shivers and his little heart beats out of his chest," she said. "It breaks my heart that the hazing makes him so terrified of something that is usually the highlight of his day."
Louie freaks out every time a bomb goes off, and usually runs straight into a thorny blackberry bush--just ridiculous.
Result: The dog is a nervous wreck, its humans are even more so, and the seal bombs are expected to last until the end of April.
So what to do? The DFW says there's not much choice.
"We have had a couple calls of hazing effects on local pets," [DFW Biologist Tom Murtagh] said. "They've complained that some of their dogs are acting like it's the Fourth of July and they're ducking and looking for cover. I completely sympathize with them, but we're kind of backed into a corner."
Yeah, tell that to Louie, who's backed himself into the damn blackberries again.