Capitol Hill Woman Lights Apartment on Fire With Crack-Smoking Utensils

It's that most classic of human predicaments: a bag full of crack cocaine, a perfectly good crack pipe, but no lighter with which to light it. A person in such a situation has limited options. Eating it won't do; snorting it won't either; injecting it could, but that would still require a flame to dissolve it into liquid. So really, fire is a necessity. But, as a Capitol Hill woman recently found out, there are serious drawbacks to getting creative with crack fire.

As the P-I told it on Monday, the still-unnamed woman is a tenant of the Olive Ridge Apartments, a low-income housing project in south Capitol Hill.

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Having found herself in just such an impasse, but also having just watched an episode of MacGyver, she remembered that she had a wooden chopstick.


Somehow she managed to get the end of the chopstick lit and was using the flame from the wood to try and light her crack pipe.

This didn't work.

Disgusted, she flung the still-smoldering chopstick aside and ventured out in search of a neighbor to lend her a proper lighter. The chopstick, meanwhile, was still burning when it landed on her couch, and while she was out trying to procure her necessary fire-starter, a much larger fire was starting in her apartment. Firefighters managed to keep the whole project from going up in flames, but not before it did an estimated $30,000 in damages.

It was after the fire was extinguished that firefighters found the burnt chopstick and crack pipe.

Now, even if she'd managed to borrowed the lighter, she found herself down a crack pipe and back to square one.

Some days, I tell ya!

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