There's a distinct possibility that at some point in the past 75 years, Joy Cassidy took a dump on someone's doorstep and ran away.
Cassidy, 75, pleaded guilty on Friday to a charge of malicious injury to property for a string of vandalism acts beginning in 2009 after she was banned from using the library.
On more than 10 occasions Cassidy snuck up to the library drop-box late at night and poured in it maple syrup, ketchup, corn syrup, mayonnaise, or any combination thereof. When books came in they'd look like an IHOP waitress's shirt.
The library apparently installed a video surveillance system at one point, but they still couldn't catch her. But when the cops posted up down the street and watched one night, the vengeful old gal creeped up with a mayonnaise jar and the trap was sprung.
Cassidy was sentenced to a month in jail and ordered to pay at least $3,200 in damages.
She also has to eat an entire book.