Today in Sex: Rock Star Mick Hucknall Apologizes to the Women He's Screwed

Rock stars are not known for their monogamous ways, God bless 'em. They're rich, famous and usually attractive, even if it's just on some animal level. Like Lemmy--fug face, great musician. Who could begrudge him a wart-licking groupie? However, there are some guys that just make you wonder--is fame really so much of an aphrodisiac that it can make a woman overlook both looks and lack of talent? I mean, Adam Duritz, of the unlistenable Counting Crows consistently has beautiful famous girlfriends. (He must be hung like a Redwood is all I can figure.) Another one more appalling than appealing, was Mick Hucknall of Simply Red. Ugly guy, shitty band, yet somehow he managed to convince babes like Helena Christensen, Catherine Zeta Jones, and, shockingly, about 1,000 other women to do the faux-soul shuffle with him. And now, happily married with a child, he wants to apologize to these ladies.

UPDATE: The Guardian issued an apology to Mick Hucknall today--apparently they underreported his actual fuckery. It was 1,000 women a year for three years. Not 1,000 women total. I'm going to go thank my vagina for not going there.

In an interview with the Guardian, Hucknall says all that fucking around was like an addiction."When I had the fame, it went crazy," he tells the paper. "Between 1985 - 1987, I would sleep with about three women a day, every day. I never said no. This was what I wanted from being a pop star. I was living the dream and my only regret is that I hurt some really good girls."

It would appear that Hucknall has gone through a bout of therapy and possibly a 12-step program to bring him to this epiphany, blaming his frantic fuckery on (of course) his mother. "I regret the philandering . . . In fact, can I issue a public apology through the Guardian? They know who they are, and I'm truly sorry."

While I hate to begrudge anyone their 9th Step, what I hate more is fielding out-of-the-blue phone calls from the newly sober, seeking absolution for extreme dickery committed years prior. I can hold a grudge like it has a handle, but these dudes inevitably catch me off-guard (and yes, it's happened a few times) and I wind up being pleasant about it and then later annoyed I didn't make them sweat more.

Have you ever gotten one of these calls? Most people I know have and have had a simliar reaction to mine--too little, too late.

All these ambush apologies do is bring up unpleasant memories and while maybe it's "closure" for the person doing the groveling, it can be irritating for the person on the receiving end. But, hey, at least these people are brave enough to pick up the phone or even email you personally. Issuing a blanket apology through a newspaper? Sorry, Mick. I'm no 12-step expert, but that doesn't count.

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